Post-Surgery Life: Six Months Later

*taps mic*
Anybody out there?
HEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Long time no blog!
This fall has been insane. Between work, my classes, and PT, along with all of HRH's activities, has left me little time to sit and blog. I'm a year away from graduation.
But that's not really why I dusted off the laptop.

Today marks six months since my hip surgery. Six months ago, my orthopedic surgeon poke two holes in my upper thigh and shaved down my ball joint so it didn't rub against my socket anymore. It was actually a fairly quick surgery, as surgeries, go, and I was home later that day and back at physical therapy the next day.

Sexy hospital gown is sexy. It's the lighting, really.

And I have worked my tail off at therapy in these last six months. My ortho said it could take between six and eighteen months to fully recover, but after almost two years of Not Running, I'd like that recovery to be closer to six.
Lately, we've stepped up the plyometrics and abdominal work. I haven't done plyos since I was in high school track, so that's been…challenging. I have the grace of a sprinting basset hound, so hopping over even the shortest hurdle surely causes laughter to those who may be watching (I know this because they don't wait until my back is turned). Even so, I'm keeping at it, since I am continuing to make progress, upping weights and leveling up.
And, if you've followed me on Instagram (which is about all I can muster blogwise of late), you'll know that the most exciting news is that I have actually been able to run.
Twice.

"Let's go, Mom! Chop chop!"

I think technically I'm still "jogging," but a run is a run is a run.
Here's what I've been allowed to do:

• Warm up well (Zooey and I walk for at least a mile before attempting anything faster).
• Jog in place for a few seconds.
• Lean forward.
• Go.
• Make sure that everything is loading correctly.
• If it's not, stop and start again.
• Run no farther than 1/2 mile under threat of severe chastisement from all my therapists.

So that's what I've done.
Twice.
Holy cats, running is hard!
We can start with everything to which I'm trying to pay attention. Before I got hurt, I (made the mistake of) ran somewhat mindlessly. That isn't to say I didn't pay attention at all; I just let my mind wander, especially if one of my favorite jams came on my playlists. Running was a way for me not to have to focus on something - work, class, other people - so I admit that I probably ignored my form. So now to pay attention to my foot strike (which I did before…usually) along with knee position and how much I am leaning and where my arms are and how long my stride is and whether I'm kicking my heels up instead of lifting my knees appropriately…it's…it's a lot. HRH is currently working on perfecting her butterfly stroke, and she struggles timing her arm movement with her dolphin kick, and I know exactly how she feels.
Like I said, sprinting basset hound over here (If you can't get that visual, here you go).

I mean, the only difference is that my ears aren't as floppy.

We also need to talk about how I could NOT get my breathing under control. You'll be surprised to know that after almost two years Not Running, Not Cycling, and Just Learning To Swim Again, my endurance is at a record low. So even though I felt on my second run that I had the loading under control, I had to stop and walk a bit to catch my breath before starting again. Sucking wind is a look I'm going to need to get used to for a while.
Am I ready to start Couch to 5K yet?
No.
Even though I downloaded it.
But I'm getting stronger, and the fact that I have been cleared to do a bit of slow running as I basically learn how to run all over again is exciting. We are at the minimum marker for "full recovery," and while I know that I still have a ways to go before I announce to the world that I'm training for my first marathon, I'm starting to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.
And hey, I may never be fast, but at least I'll be able to put one foot in front of the other and enjoy the forward motion. And for that, I am grateful.

What Makes it Great

On Friday, I saw the PA at my ortho's office for a checkup. The last time I was in, the ortho said that this visit would be a deciding factor about when I'll be able to start cycling, running, and swimming again.
My range of motion continues to improve, and Jeff, my PA, was really pleased with how my muscle strength was coming along as well - I'm actually getting quad definition again, which means my muscle atrophy is receding, and my left leg is starting to become more equal in strength as my right. This is key for getting the go ahead for all activities.
That said, I'm not quite ready to put my improved joint to the test, and it may be a few more months before that happens.
The most important thing is having 100% range of motion back so that I can, basically, learn to run properly again. If I start before that, I'll likely have to compensate somehow, which will, of course, create a greater risk of re-injuring myself.  Additionally, I need to start back with one exercise at a time so that I don't overdo it. Since part of my surgery included repair of the hip capsule, Jeff wanted to make sure that was fully healed, which can take a little longer even if I "feel great and can't wait to start moving again."
So what does this all mean?
For now, I can continue walking and adding distance/time each week (I'm currently up to just under 1.5 miles). I need to continue with my PT twice a week, but as I need to move my hip as much as possible, I do need to do my exercises more often, so doing them in the pool and at the gym are highly recommended. If I keep this up, I should be able to start either cycling or swimming, in very small doses, next month, once I'm three months out from surgery.
Running, which is naturally the most jarring to the hip, will require the ortho's approval, so that's at least another six weeks, when I see him again. That means my goal of starting Couch to 5K near the end of September, in order to participate in a November race, isn't obtainable.
Of course I'm disappointed, but I also understand that I need to be healed and have that appropriate range of motion. My overall goal is to run this year, so even though I won't be finishing my first 5K in almost two years in November, I still have until December 31 to just run. So for now, I'm doing all that I can to get there.
Some people think that running is hard. Swimming and cycling can also be hard. But right now, waiting is probably the hardest thing I have to do. I see a runner out on the canal and wish that Zooey and I were out there, too. When I go to the gym and see someone doing lap after lap in the pool, I want to just be able to go fifty yards. I look longingly at RuPaul, who sits all but abandoned in the garage, and tell her that we'll get out of there someday, but not today.
Waiting is hard. But at least I'm waiting for something. And something is progress.

Green Means Go

Friday I had my six-week follow-up with the ortho. While I'd been in to get my stitches out and see the PA, this was the first time since the day after surgery I've seen the surgeon.
It was all good news. He was very pleased with my progress and my range of motion.

But more importantly, he said it's time for me to move more.

This week I'll be asking my physical therapist for some strengthening exercises I can do in the pool. I don't think I'm up for doing laps, even with a kick board, but I can definitely add in resistance work in a low-impact environment.
Right now, I'm only allowed to use the stationary bike, but I can add resistance and time to that. But when I see the PA in four weeks, it is a "definite possibility" that I'll get the go-ahead to get back on RuPaul. I'll content myself to hopping on the stationary at the gym when I'm there to hit the pool now.
As far as a running timeline, my goal to start the Couch to 5K program in late September, so that I can complete a 5K in November, was met with a positive response as well, and my ortho said that as long as we have no set-backs between now and then, he sees no reason for me not to plan that out.
For now, just walking less than a mile is still challenging, but my goal is walk Zooey three times a week (every day is too much at the moment) and little by little build myself up to walking far and long enough to start adding the running component on September 20.
It's been a long year-plus, but I'm starting to see finish lines again.

Physical Therapy - Week Eleventy Billion

Hey-hey, kids!
It's been a while. End of semester research, final exams, Elf on the Shelf, beginning of semester, a kid with strep throat, and a major masters-related meltdown have happened since my last post, and my life has kept me busy enough that I've barely even thought about posting, much less had an opportunity to do so.
Let's catch up, then.
We left our intrepid hero eagerly awaiting the results of her MRI, wondering if surgery would be in her future.
But unlike weekly dramas, the results there were completely anticlimactic.
Based on new X-Rays and the results of the MRI, the ortho determined that I do not have a labrum tear. There is "normal wear and tear" for a woman "my age" (since I'm now at the age to hear phrases like that, I guess), but nothing that's indicative of the reasoning for my hip pain.
That's technically good news. I'm not going to have surgery, which, even if arthroscopic will be invasive and a shock to the body.
But at the same time, I admit that I was pretty disappointed. With a diagnosis of a torn labrum and surgery, there is a timeline of healing to which I can cling.
What I have is pretty much a shrug and "let's just keep doing PT until you heal."
Because, you know, insurance companies are totally cool with just doing PT forever and ever with no end in sight.
At the same time as the "beats me" determination, my allowed number of PT sessions did run out, so it's been a few months of filing paperwork, waiting, going again, and then filing more paperwork. Currently I haven't been in since December, which means I've been on my own to do my exercises and try to heal up.
So, SURPRISE! I am Still Not Running, and my hip still hurts.
I think I may have some leads, though. Based on what the ortho saw - or, rather, didn't see - on the MRI, the medical "team" (ortho, PT, chiro) are leaning towards a hip flexor strain. And yes, a muscle strain can take months to heal, especially when one is trying to retrain the body to use all muscles like they're supposed to be used.
It is 100% frustrating to not be able to run still, after nearly a year. Running has been my main form of exercise, and not moving has taken a toll emotionally as well as physically. At this point, I'm game to try just about anything to get me back on the road; I am looking into some different massage therapy (not covered by insurance) that could help release tension in the muscle's insertion point, which isn't as affected by stretching as the middle part of the muscle. I'm ordering an adjustable standing desk so that I can spend more of the day standing (this is probably not going to be covered by insurance, either). And I've started to add more yoga in again. I've even been doing some pain-specific relaxation and am considering pricing acupuncture to have another means to work on healing.
Kat sent me this when she knew I was struggling with the whole Not Running Thing. It's taped to one of my monitors at work.

So for now, it's time to stand up again.

Physical Therapy - Week 21 (PLUS the MRI)

As far as PT goes, we're just keeping on keeping on.
I haven't done the Sproing in about two weeks, but I'm still working on ladders, and Stephanie keeps hinting that she's going to change/add stuff, but we are both kind of stuck in our holding pattern until I talk with the ortho, which is this Thursday, right before my PT appointment.
Which means that I got the MRI.
For those of you who have never had an MRI, they….are not super fun.
Since the MRI was of my hip, the good people at the magical photography tube location needed to inject some contrast dye into the area in order to get a good look.
Fun fact: not all medical personnel think that your joke about confusing the word "shot" is funny. Whatever. It was hilarious.
As far as the injection went….oof. There were actually two. There was the surface numbing injection, which was lydocaine, and then the interior injection of the dye. While the surface numbing worked so I didn't feel the actual poke of the second, it was still disconcerting to feel the dye go into the body. It actually makes me a little queasy thinking about it.
However, my ortho ordered some cortisone as well (I mean, there were gonna be in there anyway, right?), so that was a pleasant surprise. We had talked about injections not being an acceptable long term solution, but the hope is that this can offer me some short term relief as we talk about the actual long term plan.
And then it was time for the amazing magical tube (TWSS).
I was told I could keep my shoes on. And while I only really did keep them on to grab this AMAZING selfie:

I'm pretty sure this look is hitting the runways this fall.

I was really glad I did, because while my torso was comfortable during the procedure, my feet were freezing. I can't imagine how I would have felt had I kept my shoes off.

Now, I'm not a claustrophobic person. But OOF that tube is small (again, TWSS). The tech suggested I turn my head so I could "see out," which was OK, but I was almost to the point that I wasn't able to see into the room. I ended up just closing my eyes and trying to entertain myself while sounds of machine gun fire whirled around me. There were a few moments when I was scared by the noise (they warned me it would be "loud" but didn't specify) and was convinced that the machine was backfiring and I'd be trapped in there forever. I did my best to NOT hyperventilate or panic, and I did manage to make it through the entire ordeal without squeezing the Panic Ball of Panic that I was handed, "just in case you need us."

The cortisone has yet to take effect in the hip; I was told that it would be 3-7 days before I really felt any relief (and you can bet that I'm counting down). But I did experience one side effect - a weird taste in my mouth. I have a salty palate normally, but everything tasted overly sweet after the shot (I read that there can be metallic tastes, so this was surprising). Even water tasted sugary. Thankfully, that seems to have abated, which is good, as one of the things that tasted awful this weekend was my favorite beer (The. Horror.).

What does that mean for PT? Who knows. We are making sure I don't over-exert myself, and we have stopped doing some stretching that could exacerbate a torn labrum, if that's what it is. By Thursday, I should know what's up, which means I may or may not have a few new exercises to discuss in my next post. 

Stay tuned for next week's post, same bat-time, same bat-channel.

Physical Therapy - Week 20

I've now been in physical therapy for five months.

I celebrated by only going once last week.

Just kidding. I had a workshop that conflicted, and since the workshop was required and I don't get paid to go to PT, I obviously spent all day in the workshop.

But even if I had gone to PT, there wouldn't have been much to report. Until I get the MRI results back in a few weeks, we're basically keeping the status quo: Astym®, stretching, various exercises, and the Sproing (once a week only on that one).

The goal now is to continue to strengthen instead of getting me back to running. Of course, MY goal is to run again, but now that we know PT isn't going to do that alone, we need to make sure I'm in the best shape I can moving to the next stage.

On deck this week: my MRI. I'm not sure the medical staff will approve of pictures or humor me by taking any, but I'll try. I hear hospital gowns are in for this fall anyway.

Physical Therapy - Week 19

With my two literature courses in full swing, it seems that getting one post per week about my physical lameness is all I can handle.
Last week wasn't much to write home about, in terms of PT. Since I had my ortho appointment Wednesday, we took it easy on Monday, adding nothing and reducing reps when possible (which was also good since I was extremely achy that day). That way, I could go in to the ortho with no flare-ups.
Friday wasn't any different, either. I was glad I was still able to run on the Sproing, even if we haven't changed anything about it over the last month.
Like I said. Not much to write home about.
The bigger news is the ortho appointment. Since I was obviously stronger but with the same pain, my ortho sent me over to get new x-rays so we could take a fresh look at what was going on.
Apparently there's a lot going on.
I have hip displasia.
I have deep sockets, which led to pincer impingement (FAI).
There is more bony coverage from those deep sockets.
Having my legs/hips in certain positions, then, can cause a tear in the labrum (the ring of cartilage that surrounds the socket).
Certain positions like cycling and running.
JOY.
The x-rays were able to indicate a labrum tear only, so in order to have a positive diagnosis, I'll be getting an MRI in a few weeks. That being said, based on my symptoms and the fact that PT hasn't led to any relief, my ortho is pretty certain that's what it is.
Since the odds are in that vein, I did ask about treatment.
There are two options:

1. modify my lifestyle and manage the pain
2. arthroscopic surgery to mend the tear along with possible lifestyle modifications

Obviously, not being able to run or cycle ever again is not an option, so I am readying myself more and more for the latter. It is possible that cycling will be out as an option for longer than running (or perhaps forever), but if I can make a recovery and start running again, surgery will be worth it.
In the meantime, we're continuing the course of therapy so that I can be ahead of the healing game if I do have to choose Option 2.

Physical Therapy - Week 18

Not much changed last week.
Since I have an appointment scheduled at the ortho this Wednesday, Stephanie didn't want to change or add anything in order to avoid possible flare ups beforehand.
So, we did Astym. We stretched. We foam rolled. We did ladders and ran on the Sproing.
I also had an adjustment on Friday, and I cracked so much that I sounded like bubble wrap.
So, the good news continues to be the same. I'm getting stronger, and I'm able to do much more than I was able to when I started.
Additionally, the pain from the run has subsided so I'm no longer constantly wanting to ice, heat, or guzzle anti-inflammatories.
But there's still the bad news: I do still hurt more than before the run, and I'm back to Not Running.
While I'm terrified of what the ortho will have to say Wednesday, I also know that I'm a little closer to having some resolution.
And as long as that resolution includes - some day - running and cycling again, I'll be OK with it.

Physical Therapy - Week 17

Being able to run again was exhilarating.
I was on top of the world.

(source)

I was a little sore and achy after my first half-mile run, but it wasn't the pain that I'd felt before.
But last Tuesday, the day after my second run, my hip was screaming.
Honestly, it was like I'd never set foot in physical therapy. It wasn't a muscle soreness; this was pain in my bone.

(source)

My goal to run twice last week, then, was dashed.
With HRH's schedule including two days of soccer practice plus swim and ballet, there was no way I was able to get in before my scheduled Friday appointment, so I iced and rested and took it easy when I swam (hooray, at least I swam again).
Friday, I was still sore. And basically terrified that I'd undone four months of hard work.
Thankfully, if Stephanie was really concerned, she hid it well. After an intense Astym® session, she instructed me to take it easy and be careful, and I did. I didn't NOT do any of my exercises, but I dropped the reps on a few and went slowly on most, with multiple staff members watching me to make sure I didn't suddenly drop on the floor.
At least I was able to run on the Sproing again, even if it was an alternating walk-run for a mere five minutes.

(source)

Plan for this week: No Running, and we'll see how I feel come this Friday.
If I'm not in pain, we'll continue working, but maybe a little more slowly. If I'm still in pain, then it might be time to panic we've decided that I will call the ortho and express….concern about the progress I'm not making with the pain even though I've made considerable progress in my muscle strength.
Of course, I'm a LITTLE more than concerned. I'm feeling much stronger than I have in ages, even before my hip pain began in the first place. And gaining muscle strength in my glutes and surrounding muscles has helped my overall strength, so I'm certain that when I hit the starting line of my next race, I'll be stronger than I ever have been as a runner.
But at the same time, this pain hasn't abated, and knowing that the next steps are injections (which, why even bother; they don't fix anything) or surgery, I'm nervous that I'll have to go a more extreme route.

(source)

And since I've never had any surgery more major than the removal of my wisdom teeth, I'm staying awake playing Worst Case Scenario in my head.
So….paws crossed that a week of rest and a bit of a reboot at PT is all that I need.
Otherwise, I'll probably need a hug.

Physical Therapy - Week 16

Last week was so promising, as physical therapy went.
But losing Holden threw a wrench into my whole week, so Friday I canceled my appointment so I could take the day to grieve.
I'm not sorry for that decision. I cried a good chunk of the day, so it was good that I was home or with Husband to just let all the feelings out as they came.
But before that - and the emotional eating of all the Cheetos in the land - I was set to have a good week.
How good, you ask?
Stephanie told me I could run.
OK, so technically she said "jog." And only for about a half mile.
But it was running, not on the Sproing, nonetheless, so I chalked it up to victory.
We ran at the middle school near our house; it has a dirt track, and Zooey happily loped alongside me as we logged the slowest half mile in memory (I didn't haul out the Garmin, but I'm pretty sure tortoises could have passed me). She didn't want to stop, but I'm glad we did, because later my hip was achy for some time before calming itself down.
I'd planned to do another run on Thursday but knew Wednesday night that wasn't happening. But Zooey and I've gotten out a few times for a walk, and I'm ready to start truly moving again.
Since the rehab center isn't open for Labor Day, I won't see Stephanie again until Friday, so in the meantime I'll do my home exercises and attempt to have two slow runs as well as my first swim since my lessons finished (with everything that happened with Holden, I haven't hit the pool, either).
Hopefully my nearly two weeks "off" won't reverse my progress, but if it does, I'll roll with it.
After all, each day that I'm moving, I'm still moving forward.
With a coonhound on my tail.

Physical Therapy - Weeks 13, 14, & 15

Now that the school year has begun for both HRH and me, the schedule that I had is out the window.
Who knew kindergarten could be so exhausting?
For now, at least, I think I've got my new PT schedule under control, even though it means that HRH has to tag along with me sometimes.
Over the last few weeks, I've continued to make progress. I'm still run-walking on the Sproing once a week and doing ladders the other day. Additionally, I've been promoted to fire hydrants (so named because you look like a dog taking a leak on said item), and last Friday, Stephanie had me start doing side to side hops with the mini hurdles.
I'm still not ready to actually run.
But I'm getting closer.
The hops - both the ladders and the new hurdle exercise - are actually a major stepping stone in my progress. For one, I can balance without falling over (the same cannot really be said when I'm doing medicine ball lunges), and even more key: I do not have pain when I land.
I'm not completely free of pain. But that I can be airborne for a second and not feel a knee-buckling pain in my hip is certainly a reason to rejoice.
I'm getting close. Dare I register for a fall race?

Physical Therapy - Week 12

Now that the school year is starting up again, I'm struggling to schedule some consistent times during which I can go to PT, so in the next few weeks, I'll be therapist hopping.
This week I worked with both Stephanie and Brian. I know I've mentioned it before, but while I feel somewhat like I'm being disloyal to Stephanie when I have to work with another therapist, I really like working with Brian as well. They're both really effective but have some different approaches, so my hope is that this will help keep me from getting into a "rut" of doing "the same old thing" over and over each day. That's especially vital to me right now, as I've just started realizing that my hip isn't in a constant state of pain or discomfort.
Therapy works, y'all!
Of course, I can't do every exercise each day, so just going in to the rehab center will continue to strengthen my hip with activities like the Sproing, which I used again this week.

Thanks to Morgan for taking these pictures of me being ridiculous on the Sproing.

I felt like those little kids who are attached to the backpack-leash.

After we changed things up last week, I woke up on Saturday and couldn't believe how sore I was.
But it was my thigh muscles - NOT MY HIP - that was sore.
This is what we call progress, kids.
In fact, Stephanie was thrilled to hear that my discomfort manifested in muscle soreness instead of "the usual" hip achiness. It was really only this week, then, that I've realized that my hip isn't in a constant state of pain/discomfort; while I do feel it if I sit for too long, it comes and goes much more than it did when I first started PT a few months ago.
I'm starting to see the light - do I dare start thinking about scheduling races?

Physical Therapy - Weeks 9, 10, & 11

YOU GUYS! I RAN THIS WEEK!

More on that in a second, but I couldn't wait to tell you.

Technically this should be Week 12, but since we were in Michigan for a full week and I did exactly one day of exercises while we were there, I'm not counting it.

Since I've been back, though, things have been progressing nicely. I've graduated to some higher level exercises on the table, and we've taken a few off the rotation for good (although Stephanie told me that I can continue to do them at home). I also started with floor ladder exercises to help with coordination when I'm in motion but not necessarily forward motion.

This week has been pretty exciting.

I ran. Did I mention that before?

OK, so it was only for two and a half minutes, in thirty-second increments, with thirty seconds of walking in between. And it was on the Sproing.

Regardless: I ran this week. And I am filled with joy.

I've also started swimming. Which is funny (both funny ha-ha and funny strange) because I've said a few times that I'd NEVER swim or consider a triathlon. I'm using the "not being able to run or cycle does strange things to a person" excuse. Not Moving can cause a person to become certifiably insane, I'm pretty sure.

So now I have swim "class" on Fridays for six weeks.

I even bought goggles.

Last week: panic. Like, OMG I am going to drown panic. Thankfully, though, the coach was really patient with me and gave me some great suggestions on 1) Not Panicking and 2) getting my breathing timing down better.

This week: since I had PT today, I spent the hour doing pulls in order to keep my legs from getting fatigued. It took A Lot of thought, sand sometimes I struggled to put keep what my legs, arms, and breath needed to do all together.

I'm not sure how much swimming will play into my training as I become stronger and am able to run and cycle again, but I am happy that I'm able to open my eyes under water (yes, even with goggles that has often freaked me out) and time my breathing more accurately. Adding swimming to the rotation will help alleviate the pressure on my hip, so I really hope that I decide I like it enough to buy a pass to the pool. For now, it is absolutely what I need. One hour in the pool, and I'm happily exhausted.

Physical Therapy - Week 8

This week was a big week.
I mean, sort of.
Basically what happened is that I "graduated" from two of the exercises I'd been doing - the hip dips and straight leg raises - and moved on to a more advanced version of another. Stephanie also added one new exercise to the mix.
So, hooray! Progress!
Despite my strong desire for some sort of massage instead, the Astym® is still going strong. The bruising isn't nearly as massive as when we started, but the sensation of my muscles crunching is still present, and there are definitely some areas that are tender by the end of that part of therapy. Those areas have never been so grateful to see a foam roller.

The instruments of torture; Stephanie uses the one in the middle on me.

Even though one exercise (which I cannot figure out how to do at home yet) was added, so I really only have one less to do, I felt like yesterday's session went faster. It's been taking me at least an hour and a half to go through all the exercises. But since my arse is feeling stronger, I've been working really hard to stick with it on a daily basis (I may or may not have promised myself a little piece of jewelry if I go a full week without skipping a day…) so that I can hear those four magical words: "You can run again."
On the home front, Husband surprised me by initiating a conversation about where I was headed. I guess maybe I've been down in the dumps a bit more than I'd realized, as he suggested that we start looking into an elliptical, "so you can do some cardio even if you're restricted from running as much as you used to."
To be honest, my feelings were kind of hurt at first. After all, the whole point of physical therapy is to get me running - and cycling - again. So to have him suggest the elliptical, a machine that neither of us really like, just so I can do aerobic training with less of an impact on my delicate hip, was….startling.
But I saw his point and also understand that he doesn't see the progress I'm making (neither do I, to be honest), and I appreciated the suggestion for that, since we had discussed a treadmill at some point, and he'd shot it down, saying we don't really have the room. We still don't, so making that suggestion so that I can move again was a big deal for him.
I really really really really really the the elliptical, though. I don't know that I'd use one at home, even if we invested in one. I do think I'd be more inclined to use a treadmill.
So I asked Stephanie about it, and she said that I'd get more use out of the treadmill, not just because I'm more inclined to use it, but also because I can work a greater range of muscles on it. On the elliptical, I can go forward or backward, and I can go fast or slow, but basically, I'm repeating the same motion. On the treadmill, I can incline - and on some, decline - as well as walk sideways and backwards. Plus, I can walk or run, and I could even train Zooey to walk on it when it does get too hot for her sweet little paws.
But at the same time, she did reassure me - maybe she saw panic in my eyes? - that yes, our goal is to get me running again and at the same level to which I'd been used to. She knows I want to run a full marathon someday and doesn't want me to hang that idea up.
I'm not saying that we are going to go out and buy a treadmill right now, though. It's something we need to consider and then budget for. And if the numbers are similar, I may prefer to join a gym so that I have the opportunity to add on yoga and pilates in a setting that I'd actually do it (it's not easy to do your yoga when your exercise room is also the play room). Zooey wouldn't get the benefit of it that way, but we'll see what happens.
For now, I'm happy that the change in the PT routine means that I am truly gaining strength and I'm one week closer to hitting the canal again. It won't be soon, but it'll be sooner.

But Yet I Run Before My Horse to Market?

(Or, On Not Running and Stuff)

Now is the winter of our smug content
Turned abhorrent summer by this desert sun;
And all the rain that lour's on the Northwest
Is in the deep cockles of our hearts dreamt of.
Now are our brows crowned with execrable sweat;
Our leather seats covered with beach towels;
Our fiery sidewalks used to fry up breakfasts,
Scorching steering wheels driven with oven mitts.
Sweat-tainted clothes ousted one-starched threads;
And now, instead of heading out to play
To fill the air with joyful intonations,
We hunker lamely in a curtained hallway
Under the tempering blades of ceiling fans.
But I, that am not shaped for staying put,
Nor made to linger under roofs, looking out;
I, that am aptly shod, and want nothing more
To run along a carp-laden canal;
I, that am curtailed of this activity,
Cheated of pastime by loathsome injury,
Wounded afflicts, sent before my time
Into the PT's world, rife with hip pain,
And that so lame and achy each waking hour
My dog barks at me as I halt her run;
Why, I, in this weak, fragile state of health,
Have no delight to pass away the time
Without to spy my shadow in the sun
And abandon my damn'd discomfiture:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a runner,
To entertain these long, feverous days,
I am determined to prove a swimmer
And hate the parching hours of these days.
Plots have I laid, exertions ambitious,
By desp'rate suspicions, brainstorms, and dreams,
To set my bothersome him and myself
In joyful reunion with each other:
And if my PT be as good and deft
As I am bruised, marred, and decrepit,
This plan should my hip surely be healed up,
Hoping a green light she gives, and run
On the canal this sportswoman shall go.
Heal hip, down to my bones: pool,
Here I come.

Physical Therapy - Week 7

This week, Stephanie had me start doing my bridge exercises using an exercise ball, and she added static lunges.
This takes my routine to almost two hours.
Especially when you include the part where I throw myself on the floor and dramatically cry, "It's soooooo hard!"
Tuesday I woke up with an extremely tight left quad. It was sore enough that it was uncomfortable to walk, so I modified my home PT, omitting any weights and doing fewer reps per set and skipping both the lunges and the squats, as they were both painful, not just uncomfortable, to attempt.. When it wasn't feeling much better on Wednesday, I was able to re-add the weights, but I still didn't do the squats or lunges.
When the pain didn't abate in the evening, I took a heating pad to it. Using a heating pad when it's over 100° outside isn't the most fun activity I can think of, but it helped me relax a little bit so I could go to sleep. My hip was also still pretty sore, so even though I tend to ice it after I'm finished with my exercises, the heating pad felt good on that as well.
Of course I brought all this up to Stephanie on Thursday, and she said that while she didn't like that my quad was painful for that long, she wasn't surprised that I was sore, since we hadn't worked too much with the quad, so adding the lunges should have had an effect. But since I was still pretty tight - she did some myofascial work during my Astym® treatment to try to loosen me up - she reduced my lunges to one set of ten on each side, and I'll work my way up.
It took me until this week to have the brilliant idea to actually write down what's going on each day in my running journal. I mean, hey, I'm not logging any miles, so it's not like there's no room. My hope is that if I can take notes each day, I can actually see myself progress - and feel like I'm making progress.
I know I'm making progress; I can tell that I'm stronger than I was when I started PT in May. But I still don't feel stronger, since I'm still constantly sore and uncomfortable, which means I still can't run or cycle, which in turn means I'm still frustrated and this close to going stir crazy.
My next goal, then, is to be able to do two sets of the lunges by my next update. I have a week. Let's get to it.

Physical Therapy - Week 6

I'm six weeks in. At this point, I need to head back to the ortho to see what he thinks of my progress, so I'll be scheduling that appointment before the end of the day.
I think in a previous post I mentioned that Stephanie wants me to be at 80%. Basically, that means I can still be sore after doing my exercises, but I should go through my day fairly pain-free.
Right now, she's giving me a 65%. Mayyyyyyybe 70%, but really, I'm achy a LOT of the time.
Like all this week.
For now, she's not adding any new exercises again until my soreness abates somewhat. In the last few weeks we've added quite a few, so she's letting me "get used" to the quantity of exercise I'm charged doing on a daily basis.
I'm still amazed at the humbling effect of PT. Some of the "exercises" seem little more than minor movements, and they can be OMGSOHARD. One of my newer exercises, the T-bend (at least that's what I think it's called), isn't much more than me leaning forward while standing on only one foot, but doing it properly required effort and concentration. Thankfully, Casey, one of the trainers, gave me this advice: "think of it like you have two lasers pointing out from your hips; you want to point those lasers toward the ground."
Aside from the fact that I spent the rest of that exercise going "PEW! PEW!" and quite possibly concerning other patients, it was great advice. It gave me a visual to apply when I'm at home, and it even made the exercise a wee bit more fun.
I just wish there was a way to make V-sits more fun.
At this rate, I'm hoping to hit 75% by the end of June, but I really need to be more dedicated to doing my exercises every day, regardless of the soreness. I'm officially on vacation as of 5PM tonight, so I won't have work as an excuse for the next several weeks.
In that time, I'm going to look at how I can convert my desk to a standing one, as sitting all day is not helping any of my body, especially my hip. I don't plan to buy a standing desk (unless we win Powerball, but then I can quit and won't need a desk anyway), but I have some ideas on how I can Macgyver what I currently have in order to be able to stand and sit throughout the day.

Do you have a standing desk? What are your tips for not sitting so much through the day?

Physical Therapy - Week 5

This week began with HRH waking us up at 5AM after having thrown up in her bed. After an hour of holding her hair back while she prayed to the porcelain gods, I knew I wasn't getting to PT. I wasn't able to reschedule, either, so I was only able to go once.
The good news is that the bruising from the Astym® was nearly gone by Thursday.
The bad news is that it's back after a fresh battering.
Today, I am sore and tired. I also had my monthly chiropractor adjustment, so while I am walking a little taller again, I'm just spent. It takes me over an hour to complete all my exercises at home (almost 2 if HRH is up and is inclined to "need" something in between my sets), and since I didn't get a great deal of sleep all week (hello, summer class), I'm considering skipping some of the routine in favor of getting to bed before 11PM.
Next week is the six-week mark, which is the extent to which my ortho prescribed treatment, so I have to call his office and go in to see him, although I have scheduled out PT appointments for the rest of June.
I know that six weeks is a completely arbitrary time period, but I'm hoping for good news, either from Stephanie or my ortho. I'm not looking to be at 100%, as I know that's not realistic, but some sort of progress will be encouraging. I've gotten to another point at which I just.want.to.run. Last week, I carpooled with a co-worker to a meeting, and we passed SO many runners and cyclists on the way there and back. I was shocked at my envy toward all of them, even though in the afternoon, they were out there in the already brutal Arizona sun. For the last week, then, I've been having a bit of a pity party, so some good news will surely refocus me on the positives rather than the can'ts.

Physical Therapy - Weeks 3 & 4

Most of my PT sessions are scheduled with Stephanie, but she was out of town twice over these last two weeks, so I've had "subs."
Now, I'm not saying that I'm comfortable with Stephanie, because the second I say that, she's going to add a new, excruciating exercise to my routine. But at the same time, I'm glad things got shaken up before I did start getting too comfortable.
So last week, I also worked with Heidi, who is also a fellow runner (both she and Stephanie were in a triathlon a few weekends ago) as well as a pilates instructor. If I so much as tried to use a different muscle group during my exercises, she swooped down and made sure I was behaving.
And then she strapped me to the table.
Seriously. I was, for the first time in my life, forcibly attached to a horizontal surface by means of an extra long seat belt.
And all I had to do was pay a $10 copay.
Since the hip is a large joint, the seat belt was necessitated so that I could stay in "position" for Heidi to work on my hip in order to help alleviate the impingement that's happening. Plus I could stop doing clams and just lay there (insert TWSS joke).
This week, Bryan also got to torture me, continuing to work on the impingement before allowing me to do my own exercises.
Between the impingement work and the fact that Stephanie gave me some new exercises AND added weights to a few existing ones, I'm tired today.
Seriously, adding a single pound weight to two exercises and then doing squats at the end of everything left me wanting to lay myself spread eagle on the floor to pass out.
And did I mention that I'm doing V-sits? Because those are truly the worst. By the end of each once (I have to do 3 for 30 seconds each), my entire body is shaking.
Yes, it's good - I'm getting some great ab work in, but oh my goodness, it's so dang hard!
Physical therapy is humbling if nothing else.
I'm trying to be good and do my exercises every night, but over the long weekend, it just didn't happen. I finally had the opportunity to get into the kitchen and make a lot of things, but since that meant I was on my feet most of the weekend, by the evenings, when I usually get to do my exercises, I was toast.
That being said, being on my feet for the majority of three days certainly left my legs tired enough as it is, although I know it's no excuse for following orders.
This weekend, I'll step up. I'm missing running and cycling but also know I must be patient in order to avoid injury like this in the future. For now, we're shooting for me being at 80%.
I've never so badly wanted to have a B.

Physical Therapy - Week 2

This week, I've been "promoted" to the next level in one of my core exercises and one of my glute exercises. I guess that's a good thing, but boy, are my abs killing me.

The one thing that hasn't changed since Day 1 is the Astym® treatment. The purpose of the treatment is to help regenerate tissue that may have gotten scarred from injury or overuse. Since scar tissue can end up restricting movement, the breakdown of scar tissue can hopefully improve the movement in my glutes, which will hopefully "cure" the gluteal amnesia, which in turn will make it hurt less to run, regardless of the femoral acetabular impingement or the sacroiliitis or bursitis or whatever it really is that's making me want to live with a heating pad on my hip (while the ortho TOLD me it's FAI, that wasn't on the PT prescription; bursitis was, so we'll have a little mystery on our hands when I go in for a follow-up).

BOSU, my arch-nemesis. I've named him Moriarty.

If you've never heard of Astym® treatment, imagine this: a foam roller, but instead of foam, it's made of acrylic. And smaller than even a travel foam roller - like a hand held device. And instead of rolling smoothly over the muscles, which anyone who's ever used a foam roller knows can be OMGHURTSSOGOOD in itself, the Astym® instrument of torture is run along those same muscles, but said instrument actually will make the muscles crunch underneath them. That's the scar tissue being…dismantled.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I wanted to run, screaming, out the door the first time I heard that sound. It's horrifying.

Then you bruise. Because bruising is your body's way of healing itself. #sixthgradescience

Since I only can go two days a week, I've made sure that I schedule my sessions with enough time between sessions to allow Stephanie to give me the Atsym® treatment each time.
The treatment is not...fun. Like, how can something that makes your muscles go crunch be "fun." But, like the foam roller and a deep tissue massage, I'm always glad that it's done, when it's done. And I can tell that it's working; the bruising isn't as deep as it was two weeks ago, and it doesn't hurt so much as cause extreme discomfort.
I get the Astym® treatment at the beginning of my PT session, and then I am guided through my table and floor exercises, some of which are getting better, and some of which make me want to cry.

Hello, Band. Wanna go for a walk?

I admit; I haven't done my exercises at home every day. Like every other busy mom out there, some nights I am so tired that I'm lucky *I* make it to HRH's bedtime. Last night was one of those nights. I was just exhausted, and I fell into bed with my heating pad before falling asleep almost immediately (Husband knows to come upstairs and turn off my heating pad because I fall asleep so easily). But for the most part, I've been almost religious about following a daily routine. I desperately want to run and cycle again, even with the heat of the Arizona summer looming. I mean, walking is great and all, and I love yoga, but the feeling I have when I'm able to hit the road for a run or a ride is irreplaceable.
It's so funny - for years after I graduated high school, I swore up and down that running was The Worst and that I hated it. Even in high school, I was a sprinter and a jumper, so it was rare for me to do anything much farther than a (very slow) 800 meters, and I regularly did whatever I could to do as little "distance" running as possible. And now, I can't even run to the neighbor's house, and I'm just aching that I can't.
So….away I go, to make mysterious and concerning grunting noises as I contort and stretch in the hopes of heading back down the canal, this time with a booty like Bey.