Eat These & I'll Shoot You Dead Retro Cheese Cookies - It's a Bridal Shower!

Our friend Megan is GETTIN' HITCHED!

Weddings are, of course, exciting and a great excuse to put on some fancy kicks and show off your rendition of Ross and Monica's routine.
But before you scar the happy couple for life with your dance floor moves, it's all about throwing the bride-to-be a proper bridal shower, and a proper bridal shower is what we have today, hosted by her blogging besties!

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, a proper bridal shower needs two things:

 1) Uh... entertainment...

Excuse us, ladies, we hear there's a fire needing to be put out?
How can we be of assistance?
(photo credit: Pinterest)

2) Tasty nibbles.

Thankfully, a group of food and food-loving bloggers is exactly the group of ladies you want to throw a surprise virtual bridal shower.  We came to play eat.  Just reading the menu makes me feel like I need to pull out my fat pants instead of the nice skirt I decided to wear for the occasion.

We have a lovely assortment of amuse bouches to start:

• Deviled Eggs Three Ways (Farmgirl Gourmet)
• Cheesy Edamame Crostini (Running to the Kitchen)
• Caramelized Onion and Goat Cheese Puffs (Comfortably Domestic)
• Easy Bacon Cream Cheese Roll-Ups (My Life as a Mrs.)
• Sausage and Red Pepper Stuffed Mushrooms (Baked by Rachel)
• Eat These & I'll Shoot You Dead Retro Cheese Cookies (by yours truly - check it below)

Of course, with the nibbles, we need some sips:

• Blueberry Lemonade Spritzers (Simply Scratch)
• Lemon-Berry Granita with Balsamic and Basil (Bake Your Day)

Then we move onto the main fare:

• Fresh Melon and Crisp Prosciutto Salad (A Recipe Junkie)
• Greek Salmon Wraps (Inside NanaBread's Head)

And of course, we can't celebrate a coconut curd-loving, Boston cream pie pancake-making bride-to-be without desserts:

• Mini Cherry Pies (Table for Two)
• Summer Strawberry Jello Pie (Lauren's Latest)
• Red Velvet Ice Cream Cupcakes (Cravings of a Lunatic)
• Good For You Bars (Tenaciously Yours,)
• Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries (La Petite Pancake)
• Eton Mess Shooters (London Bakes)

My contribution to the shower is a recipe that my mom has made for years.  It certainly doesn't fit in with my general "make it healthier whenever possible" rule, but these snacks are one of the few items I consider almost holy and wouldn't blaspheme by healthifying it for fear of going somewhere hotter than Arizona for all eternity.  This makes them a special event treat, and if ever there was a special event for which I was going to pull them out, it's today.  

In fact, The Husband was so excited that I was making these cookies for Megan (a fact that he overlooked in his eagerness to Eat All the Things) that I had to impose a rarely utilized death threat to keep him from eating them all before I managed to take any photos of the finished product.  Considering the break from his usual detached approach to my cooking, I felt that renaming the final product was appropriate, in the spirit of martial bliss and all that.  I hope that Megan is able to threaten Ben in a similar manner for years to come with all of her tasty treats.

It's really the perfect recipe for Megan; she kills me with her delicious posts that show no fear of buttery cheesy goodness, threatening to require extra miles EVERY DAY (they would be so... SO worth it).  And if you follow Megan's blog, Wanna Be a Country Cleaver, you know how much she adores that June Cleaver era of American cooking (she even can look the part).  That's exactly when this appetizer was in high fashion.  I'm sure that Walt wouldn't come home late if he knew these were going to be on the table, if just to make sure the Beav didn't get his grubby mitts on them first.

Eat These & I'll Shoot You Dead Retro Cheese Cookies

Ingredients:

• 2 cups grated cheddar cheese (Megan will probably tell you that you should get Cougar Gold, and I agree - it's worth ordering; I had to slum it with Tillamook)
• 1 1/4 cup all purpose (or whole wheat pastry) flour
• 1/2 butter, melted (since you're using olives and cheese, I would go with unsalted, but it doesn't really matter)
• 24 green olives, well drained (or more - I subscribe to the "one for the recipe; one for me" policy)

Mix cheese, flour, and butter with a fork until dough is well blended.  You may want to use your hands to get all the small pieces mixed in.

Flatten a walnut-sized piece of dough in your palm; place an olive in the center, and enclose it with dough.

Place 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet.  Cover and chill for at least two hours.

Bake at 300° for 15-20 minutes; cookies will still be slightly soft.  Cool completely on cooling rack before enjoying with a frosty adult beverage (these goes great with a Shiner Bock).

Please join all of us in wishing Megan and Ben a lifetime of happiness and tasty eats.  We love you, Megan!  May you come out victorious in any marital spat, and may your pantry always be as full as your hearts!

***NOTE - Some of the links were broken, but I went through and changed them to make sure you have access to everyone's delicious treats.  After all, since we're celebrating the bride, there are no calories today! #fact