#Reverb14 · June Prompt · Staycationing

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

June Prompt: It's summer time, and the livin' is easy. Tell us about where you are RIGHT NOW. Tell us about your summer time at home. Does "home" mean heading out of town for the season? Does it mean an extended staycation? What does summer at home mean to you?

Even though I work from home, it's nice to have a few weeks (4, to be exact) during which I don't have to open my work computer. I'd be a big fat liar if I said that I wasn't completely burned out at the end of this school year and needed a break like nobody's business. After over a decade in the education world, I'm starting to wonder what's next more and more.

My vacation started this week. So far, I've made ice cream, marshmallows, chocolate-sweet potato muffins (in which I forgot an ingredient, but they turned out pretty good anyway), chocolate-sweet potato-banana bread, strawberry-rhubarb-apple empanadas (aka hand pies), and I'm planning to try a slow cooker cinnamon roll recipe a friend shared with me this weekend. I'm working on a baby blanket that will hopefully be done by said baby's first birthday (oops). I am attempting to clear off the dining room table so we can actually eat a family meal at it, but since Husband was gone for a class all last week, total neatness has been…..not A Number One Priority.

Guess which one was the sacrificial "taste test" empanada?

I've also been working hard on my PT and trying to get back in the routine of walking Zooey, who was left to her own devices last week when Husband was gone; HRH doesn't get up early enough to go in the morning, and I won't leave a 5YO home alone. Once she's at school, it's too hot for Zooey's paws. In order to give her the opportunity to get that extra energy out in a positive, non-destructive way, I sent her to doggie daycare for a day last week, and she was OMGSOHAPPY about that.

A rare snap of a peaceful coonhound, post-walk

But this morning, I just wanted to sit and do nothing. I'm not going to have many opportunities to do Nothing while I'm on break; I still have my summer session class, which is….not my favorite, but it will fill the bill. I had hoped to do as much work during my own break as possible, but my professor only posts one week's worth of readings/assignments at a time, so that doesn't seem likely (he said he likes to make sure we are all engaged in a similar direction at the same time or….something like that).

And if my own class weren't enough to keep me busy, I've scheduled Lots of Things for HRH to keep her busy before she begins kindergarten. Right now, she's taking swim lessons every day for two weeks (this is on top of her regular weekly lessons, so at the end of this week, she'll have had 12 lessons over the two week period). She's also taking two summer classes at her dance school - the next level of ballet to make sure she's ready for it and musical theatre, which combines all of her favorite things: singing, dancing, and being overly dramatic. On Thursday, she'll go from school to swim to ballet. I've promised her we can go out to dinner and that she can have whatever she wants, since she'll be exhausted. I'm hoping that in a few weeks she can do ballet camp, which will mean ballet two hours every day for the week.

Yes, that's a lot, but since we can't just go outside to play during the summer months, both HRH and I need activities that can keep her busy so that we don't revert to "just watch a movie while I wash the dishes." We all need our down time, but I don't need to train her to be a couch potato, either. We have been discussing how much she loves to swim, and she said to me, "It's too bad that some people don't like to exercise."

I won't let her become someone who doesn't like to exercise.

There are some mornings that have been cool enough to warrant an early trip to the park down the street, which we tend to finish off with a splash in the kiddie pool I bought for Zooey. The city recently put up a ramada over the playground equipment, so it's actually pleasant in the shade. We have one rule for how long we stay: when the water is nearly gone, we head home. HRH is extremely dedicated to following this rule and pays careful attention to her water consumption, although the promise of banana bread, muffins, or other tasty treats as a return snack probably doesn't hurt, either.

But our summer will also include a trip up to Michigan to see family and get out of the heat. I'm excited that we can actually go outside and play in the park when we want, and we've got plenty of activities to keep her (and us) busy, although we're planning for a few days of (almost) nothing but R&R on Lake Michigan. My mother-in-law got the extra bike tuned up, so I'm hoping that Stephanie gives me permission to go for a ride or two while we're up there, but I'll settle for going for hikes or walks if I have to. I finally feel like I am getting stronger (more on that in my weekly PT update), and I don't want to undo almost two months of hard work.

I guess the short version of this post could have been, "what's a vacation?"

Reverb 14 · May Post · Spring Cleaning

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

May Prompt: How are you cleaning out your life and cleaning out your writing in preparation for a new season?  Reflect.  Photograph.  Think.

May is my "month off" between the end of my spring semester courses and the course I'm taking in summer school. Not that I actually have a vacation; my own classes don't have their finals for another week, and then I have End Of School Year Stuff. By the time I'm actually on vacation, my summer course will have begun.

Basically, before I submitted my last exam, my schedule looked like this: work, school, HRH school, HRH ballet, HRH swim, try to keep the house from looking like it should be condemned.

Currently, my schedule looks like this: work, HRH school, HRH ballet, HRH swim, try to keep the house from looking like it should be condemned.

And this summer, my schedule will look like this: school, HRH school (she'll continue through the summer at her daycare/preschool before Kindergarten starts in the fall), HRH ballet, HRH ballet camp, HRH swim, HRH swim camp, HRH cowgirl camp (hopefully), try to keep the house from looking like it should be condemned.

(I don't even want to make that list for the fall when "school" means kindergarten and all the things that go along with kindergarten; I've had to create a new calendar group just for HRH's stuff)

If the state of my house is any clue, I'm not good at cleaning out ANYTHING, including my life or my writing.

I mean, really - how does this even happen?

This is what I'm thinking about every day this week.

It's not that I want my house to be dirty. And to clarify - my house isn't dirty; it's just messy. So it's not that I want my house to be messy. I'm just not the tidiest person; I never have been. I'd like to be, but…leopards and spots and such. To compound that, there are only so many hours in the day. And not washing the dishes every night is the choice I've made.

It's the choice I've made because we (Husband and I) have made the decision to sacrifice some other things, including our time. I'm going back to school, and he's taken a position as an instructor at one of the community colleges here. So he's not only working all day, but then he's either gone at night teaching a class or grading/prepping for his class. I can't remember the last time I read something of substance that wasn't for an assignment, and I've spent more time in front of a computer screen than not.  There IS an up side, though. Once I get my masters, other, more flexible doors, can open for me, so I can ensure that I'm able to get HRH to the activities she pursues. Husband's instructor pay is both paying for my tuition and going into HRH's college account.

But because we've opted to make those time sacrifices, the time we do have with HRH during the week is not going to be spent with her having to amuse herself after I've worked all day because I need to wash a pan or vacuum a rug. So I read to her, and have her read to me (last night I read her The Cheese; she read me Llama Llama Home With Mama); we learn about the plant cycle on her newest science app; we have tea parties with fake tea but real sugar. And since Husband generally has Fridays off, they have a standing date for lunch (usually it's at Chick-Fil-A) and some sort of "field trip" while I'm working. This week I think they might go to the Science Center; she's interested in outer space again.

We rarely clean pans together.

So this weekend, I plan to actually clean - that pan and the rest of the house - and hope that "this time," I'll be able to keep a handle on it over the summer.

OK, maybe next weekend. HRH has something going on this weekend.

Reverb 14 · April Post · April Showers

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

April Prompt: Luck: We've had a long, wet, cold winter here, and we're ready for spring. Show us a photo of your "April showers," and tell us all about it.

So...um, well….this is awkward.

I don't know the last time we had rain here in Arizona.

Unless you count showers of pollen. Oh. Em. Gee. The pollen.  When the sweet acacia was in bloom, I thought I was going to drown in my own sneezes. I don't understand how so many people think that the scent of the acacias are "sweet" or "lovely." I'd describe the smell as more "cloying" and "nauseating." But I guess that's why they make chocolate and vanilla or Clartin and Benadryl.

This is obviously a first world problem if I've ever blogged one.

The benefit of no rain and warm, sunny skies in the spring months is that HRH is able to plan picnics at the pocket park down the street, something in which she takes great care and delight.

To wit: 

Shakshuka to go

Helmets at dinner. Noodles can be dangerous, I guess.

We'll be paying for it in a few months, when the temperatures reach the triple digits. This was the first year I turned on the air conditioning before Tax Day (I turned it on last week), but when the car registered over 95°, it was time. For now, though, it's nice to be able to have dinner in the park, even if the dress code calls for helmets and doctor coats.

Reverb 14 · March Prompt · Luck

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

March Prompt: Luck: Is luck what you get? Or is luck what you make? When have you been lucky? When did you create your own fortune?

Earlier this month, HRH asked me "What does good luck mean?" She has often heard us say this phrase - Husband will say it to me as I'm off to a race, or I'll tell him "good luck" as he heads to one of his soccer games or an important meeting. She'll, as is her norm, copy what we say and wish us "good luck" as well.

But we never really thought to explain what we were saying (or prompting her to say in some cases), which, in hindsight, is a huge disservice to my child (I'll omit the long rant about how children aren't taught what the meaning and/or intent of the Pledge of Allegiance is but rather just to say it blindly), so I took the opportunity to explain what "good luck" means and ran with it.

"We tell someone good luck when we hope that he or she does well at something. So when Dad tells me 'good luck' before I go to a race, he's telling me that he hopes I do well in the race. And when I tell him, I am saying that I hope he does a good job at his soccer game."

She took this wisdom in for a moment, nodded, and ran off to make some paper fans (her newest obsession). But even though she was able to accept the information and move on, I was left thinking about my definition and what "luck" actually is, and, maybe more importantly, whether I believe in "luck" or not.

Certainly doing well at a race is not necessarily a matter of "luck" - if I'm well hydrated, well nourished, well rested, and well trained, I'm more likely to do…well. At my last half marathon in October, I didn't plan well for the heat (even though I had a solid training plan and had been eating and resting very well), and, shockingly enough, even though Husband wished me "good luck," I certainly didn't perform like I was lucky.

But at the same time, I often feel that I am "lucky" in terms of HRH; I had a fairly uneventful pregnancy (little morning sickness, few cravings, no gestational diabetes or other serious pregnancy-related health issues), labor was "normal" (although my contractions were extreme enough to make me vomit multiple times before I even got out of triage), and I was able to deliver naturally (with the assistance of pain killers). HRH was born fully healthy, and she latched on and began breastfeeding in a matter of minutes (and didn't stop for 20 months). I had no issue producing milk. I did everything "right," but I also know that people can do everything "right" and still have emergencies and tragedies during pregnancy, during delivery, and even after delivery. Things go wrong, and since things didn't go wrong for us, I do feel ridiculously lucky and even superstitious about having another (this is not the main reason HRH is an only child, but it did nag at the back of the mind whenever the conversation was had).

So, is "luck" a real thing? I don't know. I guess the best way I can explain how I think about it is doing some algebra (pull up PEMDAS from the dregs of your memory, kids). In the course of training (or anything into which I put time and energy), I create a plan that, in many ways, is like a large algebraic equation. I solve the equation, line by line, until I can tell you that I've solved for X (race day). Variables include miles, time, hydration, etc. But in real life, unlike in the pages of Saxon, some of the variables are completely out of my control, so while I can plan to solve for X, I won't always get the outcome I predict, even if I take all the right steps. 

At the end of the day, if I do my best, I'm a lucky woman.

Reverb 14 · February Prompt · Heart

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

February Prompt: Show us your heart. Let it all hang out. When have you thrown yourself into a challenge, or shown/received love?

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."
(His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama)

Since the day she was born, my daughter, HRH, has had my heart. Yes, I love my husband more than crude English can convey. But my child….every mother knows the magical love that this bond holds. I love her unconditionally, even though there are some days that I don't particularly like her.

Those days, lately, have been more common. As the princess grows physically, mentally, and emotionally, she's also testing her boundaries more and more. Who knew that small humans would have such personalities? (HINT - not me - I really had no idea that someone that small could have such large opinions) Combine that with the emotional roller coaster that comes with being five…wow.  There are some days when I feel that I've barely eked into Newton's category of "fittest." Survival is a Real Thing, even in the suburbs.

So when it was hard to like her even though I love her with all my being, we had to do something.

Enter the Kindness Chart.

Each week, kind and unkind acts are being tallied. If more kind acts are tallied than unkind ones, HRH is allowed to participate in swim and ballet. If there are more unkind acts than kind ones, or if there are more than five unkind acts in a week, swim and ballet are cancelled for the week.

In case you're curious, ballet is A Really Big Deal in our house, so missing it on account of unkindness? Unspeakable horrors.

While in some sense, this is, in fact, bribery (and I'm OK with that), it's also a way for a five-year-old to start understanding that kind and loving acts actually benefit her, even if it doesn't seem that way at first. After all, it's difficult for many grown people to comprehend that a kind word to a stranger has positive effects to more than just that stranger, so applying it to situations that HRH can understand can help her comprehend the larger picture as she grows older.

And then….an unexpected benefit.

"Mom?"
"Yes, peanut?"
"I love you so much."
"I love you so much, too."

"Mom, I just really love you."
"I love you, too!"

"Mom?"
"Yeah, sweetie."
"You're the best."
"Aww, thanks! You're the best, too."
"No, YOU'RE the best."

"Mom, Dad makes THE BEST pancakes. They're the best in the world."
"He certainly does. We should thank him for making sure you have pancakes for breakfast all week."
"Can you call him so I can say thank you to him?"

They keep coming. Suddenly, being aware of her kind actions has made her want to be as kind as possible. While surely some of this arises from the desire to have more kind acts tallied than unkind ones in order to ensure swim and ballet each week  (while optimistic, I'm not completely blind to this), I see a marked change in HRH. While she still fights us about going to bed some nights, and she doesn't always do what we ask her to do the first time (or the second time…and when she finally does what we ask, it's not always cheerfully), she is more cognizant of the consequences of her actions.  She is creating cause and effect relationships that show she's thinking before she takes an action, at least most of the time.  When she receives a gift, she more often than not thanks the person right away or tells me she needs to write a thank you card.  She offers us fruit leathers when she gets one for herself (even though she always gives us the apricot ones, because those are her least favorite).  And the other day, she became extremely worried that Megan needed a proof of life:

"How's Ms. Megan doing?"
"She's fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Uh…pretty sure." (nothing like a 5YO causing you to doubt your answers)
"Is she all right?"
"I think so.  She was yesterday."
"Can we FaceTime her just to make sure?"

Yes, Ms. Megan was fine.  We didn't FaceTime her, although I remembered later that HRH had tried to FaceTime her the day before when we were trying to call my mom, so maybe she was concerned because Ms. Megan didn't answer (I stopped the call, as it was later in the evening).  Who knows.  I texted her with a request to let us know that she was, indeed, "all right," and we were all good.  HRH was extremely relieved.

Being kind isn't always easy.  But when I know that my child is thinking of others, it's worth those days when I just want to survive until bedtime.

"Where there is love, there is life."
(Mahatma Gandhi)

Reverb 14 · January Prompt · Routine

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014.  Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt.  Join and write, or you can join and read.

January Prompt: Have you started a new routine this January?  Is this routine different from last year?  Is it the result of a resolution or goal you're working on?  Tell us about your days.  How do they flow?  If you'd like, maybe give us a full "day in the life" or just some snippets.

Routine is not something that comes easily.  As much as I'd like to be a little more regimented in my life, I fully admit that I let the small variables make a big difference in What Happens each day.  HRH was not a baby fed or put to bed on a regular schedule; we figured that when she was hungry, she'd eat (and oh, she did, until I stopped nursing her).  And depending on whether or not I run, I get up at different times in the morning.

Of course, now that I'm nursing shin splints (AGAIN), my routine is all thrown off, thanks to my Not Running At All.

However, I am working to settle in to a new - and workable routine in order to make sure that I have enough time to include my two masters classes into the week.

Just typing that sentence kind of makes me anxious, even though I've already gotten almost a week ahead of schedule in one class and am right on schedule in my other one.  But I'm not really taking anything OFF my plate.  HRH still preschool twice a week as well as swim and now ballet (a Christmas present).  I still have a job, and Husband has both his job and his new role as an instructor at the community college.

Staying busy is not a problem for us.

So far, if I get up when my alarm tells me to (which has been 50-50 of late), I'm able to get in a "regular" work day and get in dinner and HRH's bedtime (facilitated by Husband whenever he's home) before I sit down to study.  I'm planning to dedicate weekends and the hour I sit at ballet to the time that I get my required reading in.

In a nutshell, my weekdays go by thus:

• 5:30: alarm
• 5:30-7: run/walk/yoga/coffee
• 7-8: HRH up, breakfasted, dressed, ready
• 8-5: work
• 5-8: HRH various activities, dinner, "hang out" time
• 8: HRH bedtime
• 8-10: study, yoga (as necessary), bedtime

I try to bank at least 20 minutes of relaxation time between when I am finished with work/school/HRH's bedtime and my own bedtime.  If I don't, my mind races, and I have trouble sleeping.  If I can, it's yoga or meditation, but some nights, I want ghost hunting shows (my favorite variety of fluff TV).

Weekends?  Currently a free for all.  Prayers for my shins to heal so that order may be restored are always welcome.