But Yet I Run Before My Horse to Market?

(Or, On Not Running and Stuff)

Now is the winter of our smug content
Turned abhorrent summer by this desert sun;
And all the rain that lour's on the Northwest
Is in the deep cockles of our hearts dreamt of.
Now are our brows crowned with execrable sweat;
Our leather seats covered with beach towels;
Our fiery sidewalks used to fry up breakfasts,
Scorching steering wheels driven with oven mitts.
Sweat-tainted clothes ousted one-starched threads;
And now, instead of heading out to play
To fill the air with joyful intonations,
We hunker lamely in a curtained hallway
Under the tempering blades of ceiling fans.
But I, that am not shaped for staying put,
Nor made to linger under roofs, looking out;
I, that am aptly shod, and want nothing more
To run along a carp-laden canal;
I, that am curtailed of this activity,
Cheated of pastime by loathsome injury,
Wounded afflicts, sent before my time
Into the PT's world, rife with hip pain,
And that so lame and achy each waking hour
My dog barks at me as I halt her run;
Why, I, in this weak, fragile state of health,
Have no delight to pass away the time
Without to spy my shadow in the sun
And abandon my damn'd discomfiture:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a runner,
To entertain these long, feverous days,
I am determined to prove a swimmer
And hate the parching hours of these days.
Plots have I laid, exertions ambitious,
By desp'rate suspicions, brainstorms, and dreams,
To set my bothersome him and myself
In joyful reunion with each other:
And if my PT be as good and deft
As I am bruised, marred, and decrepit,
This plan should my hip surely be healed up,
Hoping a green light she gives, and run
On the canal this sportswoman shall go.
Heal hip, down to my bones: pool,
Here I come.

#Reverb14 · June Prompt · Staycationing

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

June Prompt: It's summer time, and the livin' is easy. Tell us about where you are RIGHT NOW. Tell us about your summer time at home. Does "home" mean heading out of town for the season? Does it mean an extended staycation? What does summer at home mean to you?

Even though I work from home, it's nice to have a few weeks (4, to be exact) during which I don't have to open my work computer. I'd be a big fat liar if I said that I wasn't completely burned out at the end of this school year and needed a break like nobody's business. After over a decade in the education world, I'm starting to wonder what's next more and more.

My vacation started this week. So far, I've made ice cream, marshmallows, chocolate-sweet potato muffins (in which I forgot an ingredient, but they turned out pretty good anyway), chocolate-sweet potato-banana bread, strawberry-rhubarb-apple empanadas (aka hand pies), and I'm planning to try a slow cooker cinnamon roll recipe a friend shared with me this weekend. I'm working on a baby blanket that will hopefully be done by said baby's first birthday (oops). I am attempting to clear off the dining room table so we can actually eat a family meal at it, but since Husband was gone for a class all last week, total neatness has been…..not A Number One Priority.

Guess which one was the sacrificial "taste test" empanada?

I've also been working hard on my PT and trying to get back in the routine of walking Zooey, who was left to her own devices last week when Husband was gone; HRH doesn't get up early enough to go in the morning, and I won't leave a 5YO home alone. Once she's at school, it's too hot for Zooey's paws. In order to give her the opportunity to get that extra energy out in a positive, non-destructive way, I sent her to doggie daycare for a day last week, and she was OMGSOHAPPY about that.

A rare snap of a peaceful coonhound, post-walk

But this morning, I just wanted to sit and do nothing. I'm not going to have many opportunities to do Nothing while I'm on break; I still have my summer session class, which is….not my favorite, but it will fill the bill. I had hoped to do as much work during my own break as possible, but my professor only posts one week's worth of readings/assignments at a time, so that doesn't seem likely (he said he likes to make sure we are all engaged in a similar direction at the same time or….something like that).

And if my own class weren't enough to keep me busy, I've scheduled Lots of Things for HRH to keep her busy before she begins kindergarten. Right now, she's taking swim lessons every day for two weeks (this is on top of her regular weekly lessons, so at the end of this week, she'll have had 12 lessons over the two week period). She's also taking two summer classes at her dance school - the next level of ballet to make sure she's ready for it and musical theatre, which combines all of her favorite things: singing, dancing, and being overly dramatic. On Thursday, she'll go from school to swim to ballet. I've promised her we can go out to dinner and that she can have whatever she wants, since she'll be exhausted. I'm hoping that in a few weeks she can do ballet camp, which will mean ballet two hours every day for the week.

Yes, that's a lot, but since we can't just go outside to play during the summer months, both HRH and I need activities that can keep her busy so that we don't revert to "just watch a movie while I wash the dishes." We all need our down time, but I don't need to train her to be a couch potato, either. We have been discussing how much she loves to swim, and she said to me, "It's too bad that some people don't like to exercise."

I won't let her become someone who doesn't like to exercise.

There are some mornings that have been cool enough to warrant an early trip to the park down the street, which we tend to finish off with a splash in the kiddie pool I bought for Zooey. The city recently put up a ramada over the playground equipment, so it's actually pleasant in the shade. We have one rule for how long we stay: when the water is nearly gone, we head home. HRH is extremely dedicated to following this rule and pays careful attention to her water consumption, although the promise of banana bread, muffins, or other tasty treats as a return snack probably doesn't hurt, either.

But our summer will also include a trip up to Michigan to see family and get out of the heat. I'm excited that we can actually go outside and play in the park when we want, and we've got plenty of activities to keep her (and us) busy, although we're planning for a few days of (almost) nothing but R&R on Lake Michigan. My mother-in-law got the extra bike tuned up, so I'm hoping that Stephanie gives me permission to go for a ride or two while we're up there, but I'll settle for going for hikes or walks if I have to. I finally feel like I am getting stronger (more on that in my weekly PT update), and I don't want to undo almost two months of hard work.

I guess the short version of this post could have been, "what's a vacation?"

Six

Yesterday was Zooey's sixth birthday.
Surely she didn't care about presents and fanfare, but HRH did, so after I picked her up from school, she convinced me to stop at the store to get party hats, candles, and a balloon.
Considering the day I'd had, I was only too happy to get my dog a birthday balloon if it brought joy to my little girl.
So, things I've learned:

1. Holding a phone, dog treats, and a party hat while trying to put a balloon around a dog's leg is not the smartest or easiest feat ever.
2. Coonhounds have no fear of eating a lit candle when said candle has been plunked into an easily accessible pupcake. 

Narrowly averting disasters makes any birthday party more exciting.
Thankfully, I did get Zooey and HRH to take a few cute (albeit fuzzy because kid and dog) snaps to commemorate the big 0-6 before letting Zooey dig in to her treat while HRH enjoyed a chocolate-sweet potato muffin.
Happy birthday, sweet Zooey. You're my running buddy and constant companion. I hope you live forever, because I can't imagine my life without you.

Her birthday present - the Kong Wobbler

"Give me the entire treat bag for this."

The birthday girl and her party planner

"Take the damn picture - I want my pupcake!"

Going...

Gone. Who needs to chew? Or breathe, really.

Do you have birthday parties for your furry family members?

Reverb 14 · May Post · Spring Cleaning

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

May Prompt: How are you cleaning out your life and cleaning out your writing in preparation for a new season?  Reflect.  Photograph.  Think.

May is my "month off" between the end of my spring semester courses and the course I'm taking in summer school. Not that I actually have a vacation; my own classes don't have their finals for another week, and then I have End Of School Year Stuff. By the time I'm actually on vacation, my summer course will have begun.

Basically, before I submitted my last exam, my schedule looked like this: work, school, HRH school, HRH ballet, HRH swim, try to keep the house from looking like it should be condemned.

Currently, my schedule looks like this: work, HRH school, HRH ballet, HRH swim, try to keep the house from looking like it should be condemned.

And this summer, my schedule will look like this: school, HRH school (she'll continue through the summer at her daycare/preschool before Kindergarten starts in the fall), HRH ballet, HRH ballet camp, HRH swim, HRH swim camp, HRH cowgirl camp (hopefully), try to keep the house from looking like it should be condemned.

(I don't even want to make that list for the fall when "school" means kindergarten and all the things that go along with kindergarten; I've had to create a new calendar group just for HRH's stuff)

If the state of my house is any clue, I'm not good at cleaning out ANYTHING, including my life or my writing.

I mean, really - how does this even happen?

This is what I'm thinking about every day this week.

It's not that I want my house to be dirty. And to clarify - my house isn't dirty; it's just messy. So it's not that I want my house to be messy. I'm just not the tidiest person; I never have been. I'd like to be, but…leopards and spots and such. To compound that, there are only so many hours in the day. And not washing the dishes every night is the choice I've made.

It's the choice I've made because we (Husband and I) have made the decision to sacrifice some other things, including our time. I'm going back to school, and he's taken a position as an instructor at one of the community colleges here. So he's not only working all day, but then he's either gone at night teaching a class or grading/prepping for his class. I can't remember the last time I read something of substance that wasn't for an assignment, and I've spent more time in front of a computer screen than not.  There IS an up side, though. Once I get my masters, other, more flexible doors, can open for me, so I can ensure that I'm able to get HRH to the activities she pursues. Husband's instructor pay is both paying for my tuition and going into HRH's college account.

But because we've opted to make those time sacrifices, the time we do have with HRH during the week is not going to be spent with her having to amuse herself after I've worked all day because I need to wash a pan or vacuum a rug. So I read to her, and have her read to me (last night I read her The Cheese; she read me Llama Llama Home With Mama); we learn about the plant cycle on her newest science app; we have tea parties with fake tea but real sugar. And since Husband generally has Fridays off, they have a standing date for lunch (usually it's at Chick-Fil-A) and some sort of "field trip" while I'm working. This week I think they might go to the Science Center; she's interested in outer space again.

We rarely clean pans together.

So this weekend, I plan to actually clean - that pan and the rest of the house - and hope that "this time," I'll be able to keep a handle on it over the summer.

OK, maybe next weekend. HRH has something going on this weekend.

Little Try-Athlete

HRH has been going to weekly swim lessons for almost three year now. Swimming is, obviously, a skill that Arizona kids need to have; there are so many pools here that it's really not a luxury.  While Husband was a simmer in high school, I'm not much of a swimmer; I get panicked when my face is in the water, but I'm trying very hard not to project that irrational fear to her.
Thankfully, she doesn't seem to have picked up on my proclivity for non-water-related activities and has come a long way from sitting at the edge of the pool crying for the entire 30 minutes. Right now she's in the "Star" level and is becoming proficient in both the crawl stroke and the backstroke. She's loving every second of it.
Last weekend, the swim school hosted a "try-athlon." I signed HRH up for it the second I heard about it, and I've been playing up the excitement ever since.
Of course, it wasn't a regular triathlon; to make sure the kids stayed interested, the swim and run legs were obstacle courses; the cycling leg was deemed tricky enough, since several kids, HRH included, are less proficient on those training wheels-encumbered bikes than their swim strokes.
For the swim, the kids jumped in the pool inside a giant floaty (probably not the technical term, but we've established that I'm not hip to the pool lingo) and swam to almost the halfway point. Then they had to go over one lane marker and under another before they swam to the other end, where they had to toss a basketball into a hoop.
HRH struggled once she got out of the floaty; 25 meters is farther than she's ever swum. But the coaches were great; there were always enough coaches in the pool (and more on the deck) to make sure all the kids made it safely regardless of their ability level.

Blurry action shot - HRH is the one still in the air.

This was right as I tried not to panic when her face went under water.
Deep breaths, Momma.
Now I know how Michael Phelps's mom feels (sort of).

Her transition time needs some work; she didn't really cooperate with me as I put her socks on (she insisted on socks because she wears socks with her running shoes), but once her shoes were on, she was off to the bike.
I've actually been suggesting that she get a little bike for a while, and she's resisted, saying that she's happy with her tricycle. So it was no surprise that she was hesitant. Once again, the coach came through and helped her the entire way (a giant loop on one side of the blocked off parking lot), even though it seemed like HRH pedaled less than half the time.

Finally, the running. This was the longest distance, although not terribly far in HRH's estimation, and there were five obstacles. The first I honestly can't remember - I think it involved jumping, but I was trying to get close for a snap and missed it. Then she had to jump rope four times, hula hoop five times, crawl through a big pipe, and run through a "human car wash" before crossing the finish line.

And at the finish, water and orange slices as runners accepted their participant medals.

She just loved it. She's already game for another triathlon and has decided that she does actually want a bike after all.
Of course, I'm ridiculously proud of HRH. While she has swum, biked (OK, triked), and run before, the longer distance in the pool and the obstacles that were put into place could have thrown her off. But she kept her cool, especially when she began to struggle in the pool (it took all of my energy NOT to panic) and asked the nearest coach to help her. Being able to speak up when she really needed it and continue with an activity even if some parts (the biking) were a little scary is a quality I want her to have, and now that she knows the exhilaration of success, I think that the event really cemented that lesson.
And now it's time for me to get healthy so we can do a race together someday.

Reverb 14 · April Post · April Showers

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

April Prompt: Luck: We've had a long, wet, cold winter here, and we're ready for spring. Show us a photo of your "April showers," and tell us all about it.

So...um, well….this is awkward.

I don't know the last time we had rain here in Arizona.

Unless you count showers of pollen. Oh. Em. Gee. The pollen.  When the sweet acacia was in bloom, I thought I was going to drown in my own sneezes. I don't understand how so many people think that the scent of the acacias are "sweet" or "lovely." I'd describe the smell as more "cloying" and "nauseating." But I guess that's why they make chocolate and vanilla or Clartin and Benadryl.

This is obviously a first world problem if I've ever blogged one.

The benefit of no rain and warm, sunny skies in the spring months is that HRH is able to plan picnics at the pocket park down the street, something in which she takes great care and delight.

To wit: 

Shakshuka to go

Helmets at dinner. Noodles can be dangerous, I guess.

We'll be paying for it in a few months, when the temperatures reach the triple digits. This was the first year I turned on the air conditioning before Tax Day (I turned it on last week), but when the car registered over 95°, it was time. For now, though, it's nice to be able to have dinner in the park, even if the dress code calls for helmets and doctor coats.

Workout Wednesday - Playlist

I am terrible at updating my running playlist. Not that I feel like I need to change things up regularly, but I've realized that I've become "that mom" who listens to NPR instead of music stations and as such, I have no idea what the hip new music the kids are listening to these day.
We're saying hip again, right?
So it was a big deal that I downloaded and added three whole songs to my playlist this week.
There are now 44 songs on my "Half Marathon" playlist. I'm not sure why I still call it that; I listen to it whenever I run, not just when I'm training for or running in a half marathon. I should probably rename it, but I probably won't.
I don't really go with a theme for music, although I tend to go in waves of what I want to listen to, so I'll usually get a bunch of country or a bunch of hip hop at one time. Except this week. This week I downloaded the last three songs on the list below: a contemporary pop hit, a 1980s classic, and a song from a musical set during the Cold War. But I'm obsessed with all of them right now.
This is the order of songs on my list, although I prefer to listen to them on shuffle, so I never know what song I'm getting next. This way, I can get a little extra boost from a "power" song when I'm not expecting it.
Is that the best method for running? Probably not, but it makes things fun!

• "Let's Get it Started" (Black-Eyed Peas)
• "I Like to Move It" (will.i.am - Madagascar 2 soundtrack)
• "Low" (Flo Rida)
• "Footloose" (Kenny Loggins)
• "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" (Dropkick Murphys)
• "Shadows of the Night" (Pat Benatar)
• "I'm a Believer" (Smash Mouth)
• "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" (Pat Benatar)
• "Telephone" (Lady Gaga)
• "Holdin' Out for a Hero" (Bonnie Tyler)
• "The Rockafella Skank" (Fatboy Slim)
• "Drunken Lullabies" (Dropkick Murphys)
• "Stand" (Rascal Flatts)
• "Comin' to Your City" (Big & Rich)
• "When God-Fearin' Women Get the Blues" (Martina McBride)
• "Suds in the Bucket" (Sara Evans)
• "All Star" (Smash Mouth)
• "New Orleans" (Lousiana Gator Boys - Blues Brothers 2000 soundtrack)
• "Fighter" (Christina Aguilera)
• "Poker Face" (Lady Gaga)
• "Listen to Your Heart" (Roxette - DHT Hardbounz mix)
• "Like a Prayer" (Madonna - Mad'House mix)
• "Salty Dog" (Flogging Molly)
• "Stronger" (Kelly Clarkson)
• "Jerk it Out" (Caesars)
• "I See You Baby" (Groove Armada)
• "Maybe I'm Wrong" (Blues Traveler)
• "SexyBack" (Justin Timberlake)
• "Whenever, Wherever" (Shakira)
• "Hey, Soul Sister" (Train)
• "The Edge of Glory" (Lady Gaga)
• "Hips Don't Lie" (Shakira)
• "Just Dance" (Lady Gaga)
• "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" (Trace Adkins)
• "Bad Romance" (Lady Gaga)
• "Something That I Want" (Grace Potter - Tangled soundtrack)
• "Thanks a Lot" (Martina McBride)
• "Good Time" (Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen)
• "Let it Go" (Idina Menzel - Frozen soundtrack)
• "SOS" (Rihanna)
• "Happy" (Pharrell)
• "Brave" (Sara Bareilles)
• "Glory Days" (Bruce Springsteen)
• "Nobody's Side" (Idina Menzel - Chess Live in Concert soundtrack)

What do you think? Do you have any of these songs? What are your favorite songs to listen to while running? What are some songs you think I just have to add to my collection?

Reverb 14 · March Prompt · Luck

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.

March Prompt: Luck: Is luck what you get? Or is luck what you make? When have you been lucky? When did you create your own fortune?

Earlier this month, HRH asked me "What does good luck mean?" She has often heard us say this phrase - Husband will say it to me as I'm off to a race, or I'll tell him "good luck" as he heads to one of his soccer games or an important meeting. She'll, as is her norm, copy what we say and wish us "good luck" as well.

But we never really thought to explain what we were saying (or prompting her to say in some cases), which, in hindsight, is a huge disservice to my child (I'll omit the long rant about how children aren't taught what the meaning and/or intent of the Pledge of Allegiance is but rather just to say it blindly), so I took the opportunity to explain what "good luck" means and ran with it.

"We tell someone good luck when we hope that he or she does well at something. So when Dad tells me 'good luck' before I go to a race, he's telling me that he hopes I do well in the race. And when I tell him, I am saying that I hope he does a good job at his soccer game."

She took this wisdom in for a moment, nodded, and ran off to make some paper fans (her newest obsession). But even though she was able to accept the information and move on, I was left thinking about my definition and what "luck" actually is, and, maybe more importantly, whether I believe in "luck" or not.

Certainly doing well at a race is not necessarily a matter of "luck" - if I'm well hydrated, well nourished, well rested, and well trained, I'm more likely to do…well. At my last half marathon in October, I didn't plan well for the heat (even though I had a solid training plan and had been eating and resting very well), and, shockingly enough, even though Husband wished me "good luck," I certainly didn't perform like I was lucky.

But at the same time, I often feel that I am "lucky" in terms of HRH; I had a fairly uneventful pregnancy (little morning sickness, few cravings, no gestational diabetes or other serious pregnancy-related health issues), labor was "normal" (although my contractions were extreme enough to make me vomit multiple times before I even got out of triage), and I was able to deliver naturally (with the assistance of pain killers). HRH was born fully healthy, and she latched on and began breastfeeding in a matter of minutes (and didn't stop for 20 months). I had no issue producing milk. I did everything "right," but I also know that people can do everything "right" and still have emergencies and tragedies during pregnancy, during delivery, and even after delivery. Things go wrong, and since things didn't go wrong for us, I do feel ridiculously lucky and even superstitious about having another (this is not the main reason HRH is an only child, but it did nag at the back of the mind whenever the conversation was had).

So, is "luck" a real thing? I don't know. I guess the best way I can explain how I think about it is doing some algebra (pull up PEMDAS from the dregs of your memory, kids). In the course of training (or anything into which I put time and energy), I create a plan that, in many ways, is like a large algebraic equation. I solve the equation, line by line, until I can tell you that I've solved for X (race day). Variables include miles, time, hydration, etc. But in real life, unlike in the pages of Saxon, some of the variables are completely out of my control, so while I can plan to solve for X, I won't always get the outcome I predict, even if I take all the right steps. 

At the end of the day, if I do my best, I'm a lucky woman.

The Tough Reinvent

As I approach my 36th year once again fighting shin splints, I have to face the fact that I am not as young and spry as I used to be.

Not that I was ever actually spry, I think. But I was less prone to injury, so there's that.

I've been running for nearly four years, and I've gotten to the point at which I know I want to run a full marathon someday. I have my sights set on 2017; I should be done with my masters by then, and I'd like to do something to honor the memory of my dad, whose 70th birthday would be that year, were he still alive.

But in order to run that marathon, I have to stay healthy.

For my second half marathon, I used Hal Higdon's Novice 2 half marathon training guide. It really was the perfect plan for me; the weekday runs were kept fairly short, so I didn't need to worry about altering my training times from the early morning.

But running four days a week ended up getting the best of me. I know that many of my running friends run that many days - or more - and have no issue. But it's just a little too much for me.

If I want to stay healthy, then, I need to add Something Else.

Everybody, meet RuPaul.

Please excuse her leaning against Ursula; she doesn't have a kickstand.

RuPaul, meet everybody.

I bought RuPaul from my friend Christie's husband. Their lifestyle no longer really necessitates a road bike for him, so he was looking to get rid of it last fall, and so I happily snapped it up. 

When we lived in Michigan, I had started cycling for a time and LOVED it, so I knew it was something I wanted to get back into, and I've been reading about the duathlon, which is, as you might gather from the name, a two-part race incorporating running and cycling (it's usually a run-bike-run event). While I've learned that I should probably stop saying "never" in terms of what I'll do athletically, I am fairly confident that I will truly never do a triathlon, as I get extremely anxious in water (I don't like to say I'm afraid of water; it's more like I get claustrophobic under water, which leads to panic attacks). But the idea of a duathlon is just up my alley (there are also the aquabike, a cycling and swimming event, and the aquathlon, which combines swimming and running).

Finally, I got RuPaul tuned up, picked up a new pair of pedals that work with my cycling shoes, dug out my cycling shorts, and hopped on last month.

It was exhilarating.

I love running. I truly do. But I had forgotten how flat out awesome it feels to be on a bike.
I'm hoping that reducing the numbers of days I run and supplementing that with days on RuPaul will mean healthier, pain-free shins.

Fab shoes for errbody! RuPaul says.

To answer the question, RuPaul got her name thus:

• She is a Giant OCR3. A synonym for giant is amazon, and it was only a short jump from there to glamazon.
• She's technically a men's bike (if you couldn't tell by her selfie up there).
• She came with all the accessories (she has three pairs of pedals now).
• She gives me an excuse for more accessories (gloves, shoes, helmet, oh my).
• She's f***ing fabulous.

But flippancy aside, RuPaul, both the television persona and the man behind her, is someone who is a role model. She is comfortable in her own skin, which is something with which I struggle on a daily basis. In naming my bicycle after RuPaul, I'm reminding myself that I don't have to fit into a specific size jeans to be comfortable being me and that I don't have to be confined to a societal norm in order to be happy or content.
And if anyone can help me fit into that one dress I haven't slipped into in too many years, it'll be Ru.

I may need Ru's fashion help, too.

"When the going gets tough, the tough reinvent."
(RuPaul, Workin' It! RuPaul's Guide to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Style)

Wordless Wednesday: 'Murica (Or: I Don't Even)

(Duck Dynasty tie at JC Penney)

I am the Tortoise

Despite my best efforts, January saw a return of my shin splints. While I tried to take it easy at first, even a mere two mile jaunt left me in tears. I had no other choice but to rest. Again.
By "rest," I mean that I started, once again, my Hundred Push-Ups app, increased how many times each week I did yoga, and finally got the bike tuned up (more on that in a future post).
To say I was frustrated is an understatement. While I do enjoy a good downward dog, I feel like I NEED running. It's some of the only time I have to myself each week, when I am free to listen to the music I want to listen to, to think without being interrupted by a small voice calling "Mom" fifty times, and not worry about anyone else but myself (and Zooey, but she's pretty low maintenance).  Giving up that precious time to heal was….difficult.
So, when my friend Christie asked me if I'd run the Run for Ryan House 10K with her again this year, I jumped at it.
Without obviously doing any math to see how many weeks I would have to start training my way up to 6 miles again.
January was about healing from shin splints.
February is about getting over the fear of hurting myself again.

I am the tortoise.

Fear is the hare.

And right now he's out in front.
I've been running two miles twice a week on weekdays and then slowly working up my mileage. But the miles have been a bit slow, and I've been… tentative.
Zooey basically rolled her eyes at me Saturday morning when I told her that we needed to go slowly and pace ourselves.
Have you ever had a coonhound roll her eyes at you because you're slow? #embarrassing
As slowly conservatively as I've been pacing my runs, I know that I'm still allowing my timidity to direct my running rather than my experience.  The hill that I know I'll encounter during Ryan House terrifies me a bit, even though I've tackled it - successfully - twice before.
I've taken to wearing Sheldon up there fairly regularly as a reminder that regardless of my speed, I'm moving forward. Forward movement means that, eventually, fear will be overtaken.
But in order for me to remain out front, I have to be conscious of the fact that it's there, and I must avoid becoming complacent about where I am regarding my health.  I don't want to usher in another new year with champagne and shin splints.

I am the tortoise.

Reverb 14 · January Prompt · Routine

#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014.  Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt.  Join and write, or you can join and read.

January Prompt: Have you started a new routine this January?  Is this routine different from last year?  Is it the result of a resolution or goal you're working on?  Tell us about your days.  How do they flow?  If you'd like, maybe give us a full "day in the life" or just some snippets.

Routine is not something that comes easily.  As much as I'd like to be a little more regimented in my life, I fully admit that I let the small variables make a big difference in What Happens each day.  HRH was not a baby fed or put to bed on a regular schedule; we figured that when she was hungry, she'd eat (and oh, she did, until I stopped nursing her).  And depending on whether or not I run, I get up at different times in the morning.

Of course, now that I'm nursing shin splints (AGAIN), my routine is all thrown off, thanks to my Not Running At All.

However, I am working to settle in to a new - and workable routine in order to make sure that I have enough time to include my two masters classes into the week.

Just typing that sentence kind of makes me anxious, even though I've already gotten almost a week ahead of schedule in one class and am right on schedule in my other one.  But I'm not really taking anything OFF my plate.  HRH still preschool twice a week as well as swim and now ballet (a Christmas present).  I still have a job, and Husband has both his job and his new role as an instructor at the community college.

Staying busy is not a problem for us.

So far, if I get up when my alarm tells me to (which has been 50-50 of late), I'm able to get in a "regular" work day and get in dinner and HRH's bedtime (facilitated by Husband whenever he's home) before I sit down to study.  I'm planning to dedicate weekends and the hour I sit at ballet to the time that I get my required reading in.

In a nutshell, my weekdays go by thus:

• 5:30: alarm
• 5:30-7: run/walk/yoga/coffee
• 7-8: HRH up, breakfasted, dressed, ready
• 8-5: work
• 5-8: HRH various activities, dinner, "hang out" time
• 8: HRH bedtime
• 8-10: study, yoga (as necessary), bedtime

I try to bank at least 20 minutes of relaxation time between when I am finished with work/school/HRH's bedtime and my own bedtime.  If I don't, my mind races, and I have trouble sleeping.  If I can, it's yoga or meditation, but some nights, I want ghost hunting shows (my favorite variety of fluff TV).

Weekends?  Currently a free for all.  Prayers for my shins to heal so that order may be restored are always welcome.

The Kindness of Strangers

When I was young, kindergarten or first grade, a few local fire fighters came to visit my school and teach us a little about fire safety.  Instead of leaving the assembly feeling well informed, I was terrified and became obsessed with whether or not the smoke alarm's batteries were working and devising an emergency exit from my bedroom in the case that our house caught fire.

Fire continues to dwell in the recesses of my fears; living in Arizona means that the threat is omnipresent, and I often think that a house made of cinder blocks is a good idea.

So my heart aches this weekend when a fellow coonhound owner, someone whom I don't personally know but have met through a Facebook group lost everything in a fire, including two of his three rescued hounds.

Andrew lived in an RV, as he had until recently been a government contractor, so in order to have his dogs with him as he travelled for work, he sold his home and bought the RV.  His hounds, Claire, Herbie, and Sadie, went everywhere with him.  A few weeks ago, he lost his contract and is currently without a job.  He'd been giving his dogs his food as money started to run out.

Many people in this situation would surrender their dogs, but Andrew had rescued all three hounds, and was willing to sacrifice other things in order to keep his fur-family together. 

When his RV was parked this weekend, it caught fire, and Sadie and Herbie were lost, along with all of Andrew's belongings.  Andrew has burns on his hands, and Claire, his surviving hound, also has some burns and is on antibiotics to ensure that she doesn't have lasting smoke inhalation damage.  Both of them are heartbroken, and so is our coonhound community.  Sadie was rescued from a situation in New Mexico and transported to Andrew in Illinois through the Colorado Coonhound Rescue and Pilots N Paws.  As his children are grown, these three hounds were Andrew's life, and to have lost two of them this way, I just…well, there are no words.

Perhaps because this group of coonhound owners is populated, for the most, by those who have rescued hounds (Zooey is one of the few in the group who has had the same loving home all her life), those dogs who have been "thrown away" by others, we knew we had to do something.  Doing something in times of crisis is what we do, and so instead of rising up to save a hound from an abusive situation, we took action to help our fellow hound lover.

A YouCaring page has been set up to help Andrew and Claire with veterinary and other expenses, and in less than 48 hours, we have already raised over $1800.  The page is open until Valentine's Day, so if you have a few dollars hanging around that need a good home, please don't hesitate to click on the link and donate; I know that Andrew and Claire will be more than grateful for your donation.

In the long run, less than two grand isn't going to be enough.  Andrew needs a new home.  He needs a job.  He needs to be able to buy food for himself and Claire.  He needs to have a change of clothes (how many times have we all taken all our socks for granted?).  He needs to feel whole again after this devastating loss.  But we've started a process to help him heal, and we have not only stepped up financially but also to help shoulder the immense grief he is feeling right now.

I know many people who don't like to watch the news today because it seems like it's only bad news - the murder of a college runner, the continued situation in Syria, and more.  But whenever I hear this, I am reminded of The Art of Happiness, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama; in it, he discussed that the daily news cycle is full of "bad news" because it is still in the minority of events that happen each day.  Certainly it's too bad that more attention is paid to these happenings than the good that can happen, so it's up to each of us to carve out that good news we seek, even if it's in the face of terrible situations.

I can't put the sadness I feel for Andrew and Claire into words, but I also can't find words for the immense pride I have in these people I have come to know, all of whom have come together just because of our similar love for hounds.  It's a positive daily reminder that the kindness of strangers is something on which everyone should rely, as without that kindness, there won't be any other.

If you are short of money right now - you may be jobless yourself, or perhaps some unexpected expenses have arisen, and that's OK - your positive prayers, thoughts, and messages will also make a difference for Andrew and Claire; the more positive energy we can put out there, the better our world will be.

Herbie and Sadie, you will be so missed by Andrew and Claire and those who helped you live with the love that Andrew had to give you.  We will see you again; wait for us at the Bridge.

Herbie

Sadie on her "freedom ride" out of abuse

Herbie and Claire

Reverb 13 · Prompt 15 · Anchor

#Reverb13 is a prompt-a-day series for the month of December that is meant to give participants the chance to reflect on the past year and take the opportunity to write down some hopes for the coming year.

Prompt 15: What kept you tethered in 2013?

The word tethered is a little ambiguous.  On one hand, it can imply security; without an anchor, a boat will float off course.  But on the other hand, it could also mean to be chained back, unable to escape. 

So do I consider something that is the former, the latter, or a mix of the two?

When it comes to something that's kept me anchored safely but yet has also felt like a choke chain, I have to say that it's my job.  I love reading stories about those people who left their "corporate world jobs" to pursue their passion and then succeeded in that, but the mere thought of doing that myself is too terrifying to entertain for more than a few minutes.  

Not that teaching isn't a dead-end, soul-sucking thing.  I became a teacher because I love English, and I love teaching.  But as the years go on, the profession is becoming less about inspiring students to learn and think for themselves and more to conform to standardized testing and data-driven target groups, and I'm loving it less.  That being said, it provides me a way to keep the roof over my head, my child fed and clothed, and the creature comforts to which we've become accustomed.

And my position now affords me the flexibility to get HRH to her various activities - swim, soccer, and some January, ballet (it's one of her Christmas presents), not to mention kindergarten in the fall.  I don't have to stress about taking off a half or even full day to go to the doctor or vet.

Some days, being a responsible adult sucks.  Those are the days when parents blame me for their children not submitting work (and thus failing), or when I receive some sort of notification that some set of data that is being collected isn't the most favorable number.  That tether feels more like a noose than a safety cable.

But then I look at the things I've been able to do - stay home with my daughter and critters, travel a little more than I might have, and wear yoga pants because it's Tuesday, all while being able to bring in a paycheck, and that noose loosens significantly, and being a grown up isn't quite as sucky.

Just another part of the balancing act we do every day.

Reverb 13 · Prompt 14 · Feast

#Reverb13 is a prompt-a-day series for the month of December that is meant to give participants the chance to reflect on the past year and take the opportunity to write down some hopes for the coming year.

Prompt 14: What was the best meal you had in 2013?  Was it slurped standing over the kitchen counter?  Was the menu written in a language you understood?  Were you alone?  Or at a table filled with family and friends?

I'm not sure that there was one full meal that was "The Best."  So many delicious foods and so many delicious meals.  We've been fortunate to break bread with friends and family throughout the year.

So instead of a one best, here's my look at The Best Of, broken into categories.

Best single plate: braised pork belly over julienned cucumbers, mangoes, and carrots

Best breakfast: chilaquiles at Liberty Market

Best Homage Meal: homemade version of Dirty Dave's Gay 90's Special Pizza and Jake Sandwich

Best "Hey! Let's See What Happens" Dinner - cheesy seafood risotto with blackened shrimp and collards

Best Burger - smoked pork burger topped with an egg at Angel's Trumpet Ale House

Best Nachtisch - salt river bar at Liberty Market

Best Reason to be Wrong - chocolate cupcakes with milk chocolate buttercream frosting

Until this frosting, I preferred my cake naked.

Best Weekend Lunch - BLfgT (bacon lettuce fried green tomato)

Best Meal from the Smoker - hoja-wrapped sausage and peppers

Best One-Dish - Shakshuka

Favorite Better-Than-the-Restaurant Meal - street tacos with pork belly, cabbage slaw, avocado, and cotija cheese with jicama-cucumber salad

Most of these meals weren't really "special occasions," but rather for simple meals with friends/family or "let's go out for a bite."  Good food, regardless of the company, is good food, but it's the company that makes good food The Best.

Reverb 13 · Prompt 13 · Favorite Things

#Reverb13 is a prompt-a-day series for the month of December that is meant to give participants the chance to reflect on the past year and take the opportunity to write down some hopes for the coming year.

Prompt 13: Give us a list of your favorite things from 2013.

Considering the backlash against the newly remade, live version of The Sound of Music, I hope that you'll take more kindly to this post, but if you don't, I promise that I'll respect that and not tell you that you need Jesus.

Baking some goodies in dozens of batches,

Picking out pumpkins from big autumn patches,

One little girl in her ladybug wings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cranky old kitty who just wants to be fed,

Snuggling up to me when I'm in my bed,

Stealing my chair when I get up for things,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Black and tan coonhounds with big Frito feet,

Running in all kinds of weather ('cept sleet),

Velvety ears that I hold out like wings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

ASU games and pork belly at dinner,

Reading with Daddy and big soccer winner,

Anniversary wine tasting up at Page Springs,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog barks,

When the kid screams,

When the cat makes me mad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel, so bad!