Blessed are the Merciful

I had planned for this weekend to be a post about how I had decided that this month would be a month of running, just for me.
But after the devastation of last week, which began with the loss of my friend's beautiful child to cancer and ended with the horrific loss of 26 other sweet souls, I knew that I cannot run for just "myself" ever again.
In my last post, I wrote that I (and we) can do some things, even simple ones, to help Lily's memory, and it's true, too, that I (and we) can also do simple acts to honor the children and teachers who lost their lives last week as well.
I truly believe that positive energy and prayer can make a difference.  It can turn the tide against evil, but it must be constant and firm.  We must be good to one another, not merely doing some good deeds in the weeks after the tragedy is Newtown and then allowing things to go back to the way they were, flipping the bird to someone who cuts us off in traffic once again.  No, we must be good to one another each day - today and one hundred days from now.
I had already decided that I would be dedicating each of my runs in 2013 to a different person.  Not just each race.  Each run.  From the 2-miler early in the morning to the next half marathon on the horizon, each run that I complete will have someone accompanying me.
But mindful of the darkness that descended upon us last week, this couldn't wait.

This morning, I ran for (and with) Anne Marie Murphy, who was one of the teachers slain at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday.
Reports have stated that Anne Marie was killed while she attempted to shield her students with her body so that they would not suffer a similar fate.
She threw herself between the killer and those children without a second thought.
And now, she is walking the overcrowded streets of Heaven this night.
As a teacher, I have a duty to fill my students' heads with the knowledge they will need as they become adults and enter that "real world."  But I also have the duty to let them know that they are loved and to keep them safe while inside my classroom.
Anne Marie Murphy loved her students so much that she died for - and with - them.

During our run this morning, I told Anne Marie that I hoped that she and her students didn't suffer, that I hoped that the shin pain I felt was worse than what she felt on Friday, and that if she had been in pain, that I would gladly take some of that on for her.  I told her she was a hero; I told her that my heart was broken at this unspeakable event but at the same time so full because of her love and commitment to those children.  I told her she would remain in my heart and in my mind.  I told her thank you.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy. (Matthew 5:7)

For Unto Us a Child Is Born

Today, December 13, Lily would have been 13 years old.
She breathed her last early Monday morning, after nearly two years of emotional (and health) highs and lows, leaving this world peacefully.
There are just no words to describe how my heart hurts for Alicia, Phillip, and Jacob.  If I could do something - anything - to help ease their pain and grief away, I would.
But I can't.
I can only celebrate the amazing person who Lily was - bright, thoughtful, generous, brave, creative, witty - and pray that I can raise my child to emulate the Goodness that just radiated from Lily.

There is, of course, no "best" time to lose a child.  Regardless of the moment that a life passes to the other side, there is always the first event without her - that first year is filled with "the first without."  Christmas is no different.  But still, this week my thoughts wandered down that path.  I don't know why; it just seems like right now is somehow worse.  Worse than what... I don't know.
I guess it's just this: during this time of year, millions of people throughout the world prepare to celebrate one of the most important events in the history of humankind.  Whether we believe that Jesus was the son of God, the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6), or simply a teacher of extraordinary historical influence, the story of Jesus is, too, the story of a mother's child, from the jubilation of his birth to the heartbreak of his crucifixion.  But he has become everyone's child - the baby who lay in a manger, borne of the hope of the world.
I can't help but think that Lily has, in her own way, become everyone's child, too.  Every person who has met her or even just learned of her story accidentally can't help but love her and hope, desperately, to defeat this cancer that has taken her from her mother's arms.

And so I am reminded that I can do something else for Lily.  It's something we can all do.  We can - we must - press on in this crusade against cancer.  All cancer.  Colon cancer, which took my dad.  Ovarian cancer, which took my grandmother.  Leukemia, which took Kirsten's little sister.  Lymphoma, which threatens my brother-in-law.  Alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma (ARMS), which took Lily.  Until cancer is no longer a feared word in a doctor's office and is no longer taking loved ones, I will do what I can to help others prevent, treat, and beat it.  I will run for a cure.  I will donate to a cause.  I will bake to fund research.

So, I honor Lily today, in at least a small way, by participating in this year's Cookie Week, a now-annual event with some of my food blogger girlfriends.  All the cookies shared this week are part of the Glad® to Give program, which donates a dollar to Cookies for Kids' Cancer for each cookie shared/swapped during this holiday season, up to $100,000 - that's up from ten cents per cookie during the same time frame last year.  In addition, OXO has pledged to match all donations from registered bake sales (through the Cookies for Kids' Cancer website) up to $100,000 as well.  These donations will help fund research and new treatments for children's cancers, both well-known, like leukemia, as well as those that desperately need more research and treatment options, like ARMS.
Last year, my friends and I exchanged nearly 4500 cookies among our various office events, holiday parties, and more.  This year, I hope that you may also be inspired to offer even a dozen cookies; if we all work together, we will see fewer parents say goodbye to their children.

My recipe is a twist on the ever-popular jam thumbprint cookies.  I've always loved squishing down the dough to make a little nesting spot for the jam, of which there is never enough for my liking.
Some thumbprint recipes are a basic sugar cookie recipe, but I'm rather partial to the peanut butter ones.  After all, peanut butter and jelly go together like... peanut butter and jelly.
But peanut butter has been done, and sometimes it's nice to have a little change.  This variation has a bit of an Asian taste to it, with sesame and plum coming together in sweet harmony.

Sesame Plum Thumbprints
(adapted from this recipe by Cooking Light magazine)
makes about 36 cookies

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 3/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
• 2/3 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup tahini
• 1/4 cup butter, softened
• 2 large eggs, room temperature
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/3 cup sesame seeds, toasted*
• cooking spray or olive oil
• plum jam

Whisk together flour and salt in a bowl; set aside.
Cream together butter, sugars, and tahini in mixer on medium speed until smooth  Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each.  Add in vanilla.  Mix in flour mixture, a little at a time, until just combined.  Add in sesame seeds.
Lightly coat hands with cooking spray or olive oil.  Shape dough into balls of about 2 Tbsp, and place onto cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.  Press thumb (or a round 1/2 tsp) into center of each ball to make an indentation.  Cover and chill for at least one hour.
Preheat oven to 350°.
Uncover dough and bake cookies at 350° for 10-14 minutes or until cookies are lightly browned.  Remove and cool on cookie rack.  If you want the indentations to be bigger in order to hold more jam, use the 1/2 tsp to push down a little more while cookies are still warm.
Once cookies have cooled, spoon plum jam (at least 1/2 tsp) into indentation of each cookie.

*Make sure that when you toast your seeds, you keep a close eye on them to keep them from going to nicely toasty to horribly burned.  My recommendation is to use a toaster over and to not multi-task during this process.

Thank you, Lily, for being an inspiration to more people than you could possibly know.  I promise you that I will not stop working to help find a cure for cancer.  You may have left our world, but you will remain in the hearts of many forever, and we are all the more blessed for it.

One of the fairies that Lily drew using the computer,
one of her many creative hobbies.
She was an amazing artist.

Twelve for Twelve - It's Been a While

I had thought by now that the "crazy" part of the school year would be behind me, but to be honest, it's just been a crazy, difficult semester, and I suspect that it will follow me into the spring term.  Not my most favorite prediction ever, but it is what it is.
Add to that picking up both soccer and swim for HRH, I am about a bazillion ideas and projects behind.
So it really shouldn't be much of a surprise that I have been feeling like I'm not getting anything done.  And I'm not just saying that because that basket of laundry has been sitting there for a week, taunting me.
Crossing items off a list, then, has to give a little satisfaction, right?
Let's get to it.

#3 - Continue collecting my china pattern

This one was pretty awesome, as my mother-in-law made more pieces my birthday present this year.  At this point, I have a complete set of a few pieces in the collection, and I have seven complete place settings (my goal is 16).  

My china pattern, I think I have mentioned before, was my paternal grandmother's, and it's been discontinued by Sango, so it's really something I have to collect from online distributors.  There are a few pieces I may never find, but it's fun looking.

What has been amazing is to see the different in the sizes of the plates when I bust out the china during various dinners.  Plates certainly HAVE gotten bigger in the last half-century.

#5 - Declutter the master bedroom (or at least start)
I've started!  A few weeks ago, I went nuts on our closet, reorganizing all my shoes and everything.  I still need to take our donation items to Goodwill, but we're headed in the right direction.  I can see the floor of the closet again.
Regardless, I'm claiming this as crossed off.

#7 - Start and finish at least 2 knitting projects
This bad boy is done.  I've actually gotten more than two projects finished this year, and I have another one on the needles right now.

• I made a baby blanket for my principal, who had a little girl in January.
• I made a baby blanket for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, who welcomed my precious niece in July.
• I made a baby blanket for my cousin and her husband; their little one (the third girl in my knitting streak!) arrived in August.
• I moved on to hats next, and I knitted an R2D2 hat for my other brother-in-law.  And like and IDIOT I sent it without taking any pictures of it!  It was awesome, though.  When we visit them, I'll try to get a snap.
• Then I started to make him another hat and realized that it was so big it would really only fit Andre the Giant, so that one has been un-knitted and is back on the drawing board.
• I made a fun scarf for HRH and another for me.  TH thinks they look like sea cucumbers.  He's not getting a scarf of his own now.

I'd say I've hit this one out of the park.

The edging for my niece's blanket

The blanket was apple green, turquoise, white, and bright pink
to match her room.

My cousin's blanket - pink and cream

HRH's "sea cucumber" scarf (mine is blue)

#9 Obtain a post-race massage
OK, so it wasn't really a post-race massage, but I have been scheduling massages a little more regularly during training.  It has made a HUGE difference in my running.  I highly recommend the sports massage; I made the "mistake" of getting a Swedish massage for one appointment, thinking it would be relaxing, and it just didn't get into the muscles deeply enough.  
I tend to carry my stress in my shoulders, so massage has been helpful working out those knots, but I also had a huge knot in my hamstring that I hadn't realized was there, and since that got worked out, my legs have been must fresher much faster.
So this totally counts.

Sadly, I'm pretty sure the master's is going to be put off again, and as I have requested Lowe's gift cards as the only non-donation Christmas gift that I would want, painting the house will probably be a new year's project, too.  As for less TV time, that damn boob tube has quite the siren song for the hubs.  There is a race next month that I'm hoping to do - it even comes with chocolate!

1. Run a half marathon (considering I already signed up, I felt that it was best to put this as Thing #1)
2. Begin painting the house (interior)
3. Continue collecting my china pattern
4. Participate in at least one new run/race event
5. Declutter the master bedroom (or at least start)
6. Begin my masters
7. Start and finish at least 2 knitting projects (although in a post to be named later, I may carry one "start" from 2011 over)
8. Take HRH to one, new, exciting Thing each month
9. Obtain a post-race massage (this is not indulgent; studies show they help runners recover)
10. Read a book that is not intended for the 3-year-old crowd
11. Donate blood 4 times
12. Spend more high-quality less-TV time with The Husband

Ahhhh, that felt good.

Do you have any big accomplishments that you'd like to virtually cross off?

One Kitchen, Many Hearts - Tricks, Treats, and Thanks

I have found myself getting more and more excited each time we have one of our OKMH gift exchanges.  Not for the package that comes to my door (although that is darn exciting - way more exciting than the bills and election flyers I usually get), but to see what everyone else sent everyone else.  While we are scattered across the map, it's like we live just down the street from one another.
Which would be the awesomest block on the planet were it to actually happen.

Clockwise, from top left:
Mads, Kirsten, Megan, Kat, Moi, Jeanne

This month, we came full circle; I received my first OKMH package from Mads back in February, and it was finally my turn to send some goodies to her.  I had a lot of fun putting her package together, so make sure that she's your first stop on the train today.
And since Jeanne was the first lucky lady to get my gifties, her package was the one that I received this month.
For the record, Jeanne gets the award for the most beautifully packed boxes and probably some of the most hilarious handmade cards EVER.

My personal favorite is the grammar one - top left.

And while I could have laughed at the cards all day (I still am, actually), I was just touched at Jeanne's thoughtfulness with her selections.

Something for HRH (which didn't leave her side for a week and even made the trek to school for Friday Show and Tell).

Her name is Samantha.
Although for about 48 hours she was called "Pony Grap."
That's a "g" there.  In case you did a double take.

Something for TH - with an accompanying rude joke about smoking meat (I wouldn't have it any other way).

And some goodies for all of us to share.  OK, just TH and me to share.

"SOUP. There it is."
Hilarious, Jeanne.  I actually cried I was laughing so hard.
I can't wait to make this!!!!!

Because broken syrup IS unacceptable.
Got this one past you, USPS.

Who you calling fat and juicy?
Good news: we love bloody Marys.
Bad news: I used all the vodka to make my extracts.

Also in the package: one bandana (soon to be Zooey's new party clothes) and some farro, which I cannot wait to put into a soup.  Maybe some hot cereal for those mornings after a run now that the weather is (finally) cooling off.

Jeanne, you rock; thank you for all the great goods - we all appreciate them!  All of these wonderful women rock, and in this week when only a horrible hurricane can stop (some of) the hateful campaigning, it warms my heart that we can do something nice for someone else for the fun of it - because we can.
(And speaking of "because we can," click here to watch the video reveal of how much was raised at the Bake Sale for Beka over two days - I laughed, I cried, and I drooled over the cookies I didn't win, but I love that so many people are so generous for great causes - thanks to all those good people who bid; congratulations to all the winners!)

• Now, I sent a gift package to Mads.
• Mads sent her box to Kirsten.
• Kirsten sent her gift along to Megan.
• Megan (who must be exhausted after that two day auction!) shuttled her goods off to Kat.
• Kat, to make the circle complete, sent her bundle down to Jeanne. 

Now, we have had SO much fun, we're continuing this.  Hopefully you've been inspired to grab a bunch of wonderful items and ship them off to a friend across the country - just for fun!  Go ahead - practice some random acts of OKMH!

Bake Sale for Beka

The Internet is a crazy thing.  Not only can you find a corgi version of "Call Me Maybe" (Corgi Rae Jepsen?), but you can also meet the most amazing and wonderful people.
Megan is one of those amazing and wonderful people I've met thanks to The Internet.  She is funny and sharp as a tack.  She is a devoted lover of labra-dork retrievers.  She has a recipe for coconut curd that makes me weak at the knees.  But more most importantly, she has worked tirelessly to put together a bake sale to benefit her best friend, Beka.

Beka has Crohns disease.
You can click on the link there to get more information about what Crohns is, but here is what you really need to know: a chronic condition, Crohns currently has no cure.  Medications can help - some people can be in remission for years, but other people go through much more regular cycles of flare-ups.  It's not a fake disease, and it can have a huge impact on a person's personal and professional life.
But Beka, whom I've also gotten to know via that crazy Internet, doesn't appear to be letting something like Crohns affect her humor, vivacity, or really anything else.
Which is exactly how I would hope to deal with anything like Crohns, cancer, etc.  The less she allows it to boss her around, the less it will be the "one thing" that defines her.

What Beka IS doing is planning her first half marathon after realizing, during training for a 5K, that running seemed to quell some of the symptoms.  Her efforts in this will benefit the Crohns and Colitis Foundation of America, specifically the Foundation's Camp Oasis, a camp for children diagnoses with Crohns and Colitis.  Camp Oasis allows these kids to be, well, KIDS, despite their conditions, which many times, other children don't understand.

Y'all know I am definitely on board with my sisters who run for their causes.  Beka and I have kind of bonded over the whole Crohns-colon cancer thing, finding 12-year-old humor in two diseases that are in all actuality NOT funny.

Good thing this bake sale is ANYTHING but funny.  It's simply full of Awesome.

Don't believe me?  Check it out - bid on the goods and goodies from 25 food bloggers (including yours truly) as well as some wonderfully generous companies to help Beka meet her goal for the CCFA and make a huge difference for the kids!  You can bid until 8PM Pacific Daylight Time tonight on some amazing treats - just by clicking here.

Just keep your grubby mitts off the double dark chocolate merlot cookies.  Those babies are MINE.

Seen On My Run - The Blog Post

Most runners who are on The Twitters know about the #seenonmyrun hashtag.  Lots of gorgeous sunrise, sunset, and water snaps.  Tons of "WTH" snaps.

I, of course, favor the latter but also relish the former.
Today I slept in a touch longer than I usually do on Fridays before heading out with Zooey.  It was nice to get an extra few minutes of sleep.
Apparently, that fifteen or so minutes (plus the extra minutes it took me to get out the door; it was a "move slower" kind of morning) makes a big difference in the interesting things that you'll get to see on a run along an Arizona canal.
Seen today:

1. Lightning storm up in the clouds (thanks for the awesome show, Mother Nature!)
2. Two tiny kittens (spooked by The Hound of the Doofervilles)
3. Dude wearing FULL ON winter workout gear - long pants (obviously lined) and winter jacket with fleece collar (probably fleece-lined, too) -- yes, it was in the 60s when I ran, which is practically a cold snap here, but I still think people in Arizona are weird when it comes to weather "anomalies" like getting below 70° in the first half of October.  You should see what happens when there is the rare foggy morning.  But I digress.
4. A "pack" (or whatever it's called) of six cats - black or black and white.  I've seen them before, but not in these numbers.  I'm planning to contact the local TNR folks to see if they can help
5. A calf nursing from her momma
6. Another cat, pooping unabashedly
7. A black lab that I like to call Zooey's boyfriend; whenever he's in his yard, he gets up on the table to look over the fence - not aggressively - he's totally curious.  We always say hi.
8. A gray cat who, in its attempt to get away from Zooey, jumped up onto said lab's fence.  Not his best morning, I'm sure.
9. anas coitus - the poor hen was held UNDER WATER by her neck while the drake did his thing.  Fortunately for the hen's lungs, doing his "thing" lasted about three seconds.  Talk about a two-pump chump.  I guess that romance is dead, at least in the duck world.
10. I really only add this to get a nice, round number, as it's not truly "interesting" by any stretch of the imagination - what seemed like a bazillion dump trucks, as the road that takes me to and from the canal is being repaved this week, meaning uneven pavement and lots of dust.  And police officers, in front of whom, apparently, Zooey likes to make an ass of herself.

We don't see a lot of wildlife on our weekly runs, unless you count that family of (probably) feral cats and the mallards who live along the canals.  Hopefully when we start trail running again we will also not see a lot of wildlife, at least of the poisonous/dangerous variety, although I will be happy to see a bunny or two cross our path.
I apologize for not having pics of any of the above events, but until I can get a fancy schmancy Garmin, the iPhone is going to be strapped to my arm, which makes it difficult to take pictures.  However, a few weeks ago I was compelled to take a few breaks to get a few snaps.  How I managed to not drop it while Zooey was pulling on me is basically a miracle.

What's the most interesting thing you've ever seen on a run?

Our favorite calf was quite interested in Zooey one morning.

Momma didn't care for Zooey barking at her baby.
(if you look carefully, she can see baby behind her;
she stepped in front of the calf when Zooey barked)

Not a snap of the telephone pole;
that's a vulture up there.
There had been two, but SOMEONE'S barking made one fly off.

To Sleep, Perchance to Clench My Teeth?

I have been insanely busy of late.  Work has gotten me tied in fits, and between that, running, trying to keep the house from turning into the world's largest ball of dog fur, and keeping up with all of HRH's activities (right now she is in soccer and swim), I basically have been reduced to maintaining my online social life in tact thanks only to the PowPhone.
So there's LOTS that I have to say, but we'll try to parse that out over the course of the next few weeks.  Most of it is only interesting to me, although you know I'll try to spin it into absolute hilarity as I am wont to do.
For tonight, we have an update on sleep.
Don't get too excited there.
Ah, yes, sleep.  I've finally been getting some quality sleep, thanks to the Emperor.  For the most part, I wake up feeling like I have truly gotten the restful sleep that my body needs.
I say "for the most part" because even the Emperor can't keep HRH and Zooey from getting me up for various potty or bad dream emergencies.
In our next house, The Husband's side of the bed is going to be closer to the door.
I've felt stronger as a runner, too.  Not faster, but stronger.  My recovery time has improved a great deal, and this last weekend, on our ten-miler (which was a bit too much for my poor Zooey-girl, we discovered), I could have gone longer - I felt great.
But, like the Force, using a CPAP mask for my sleep apnea has its dark side.

"He that sleeps feels not the toothache."

Cymbeline, William Shakespeare

I have to laugh at my boy Will there.  For someone who coined about half the words we use in the English language (OK, so not half of the words, but a lot of them, including eyeball - there's your fun fact for today), he was way off here.

My mask only covers my nose and has two adjustable straps on either side of it; the straps should be adjusted so that the constant positive air pressure goes in my nose and doesn't "leak" out (it's also really noisy if that were to happen).  Since I sleep on my side, I have been fussing with the straps ever since I got the darn thing to achieve that perfect "tight but not too tight" setting.

Well, I thought I had it.

And then the sore jaw and headaches started.

Yeah.  Fun, that.

I have diagnosed the issue to be a result of the mask; I have been tightening it to the point that it's pushing on my upper jaw, just enough to make it sore.  If you have ever clenched your teeth (either at night or due to stress), you know that this can cause horrible headaches as well.  

So I have a sore jaw.  Sore teeth.  More frequent headaches.  Makes me tired just thinking about it (you see what I did there?).

OK, so I am loving the sleep I get.  I've even been able to sleep in on those rare occasions when HRH overnights at my mother-in-law's, and actually SLEEPING when I sleep in feels almost sinful, it's such a great feeling.  Now I just have to find a better balance of properly secured mask that won't make my head want to explode the next time I do.

But as I work toward that balance, a bit of a sore jaw is, right now, totally worth it when I am getting a full night's sleep almost every night.  The Emperor can stay, but he's not taking over the Galactic Senate any time soon.