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| (Duck Dynasty tie at JC Penney) |
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
I am the Tortoise
Despite my best efforts, January saw a return of my shin splints. While I tried to take it easy at first, even a mere two mile jaunt left me in tears. I had no other choice but to rest. Again.
By "rest," I mean that I started, once again, my Hundred Push-Ups app, increased how many times each week I did yoga, and finally got the bike tuned up (more on that in a future post).
To say I was frustrated is an understatement. While I do enjoy a good downward dog, I feel like I NEED running. It's some of the only time I have to myself each week, when I am free to listen to the music I want to listen to, to think without being interrupted by a small voice calling "Mom" fifty times, and not worry about anyone else but myself (and Zooey, but she's pretty low maintenance). Giving up that precious time to heal was….difficult.
So, when my friend Christie asked me if I'd run the Run for Ryan House 10K with her again this year, I jumped at it.
Without obviously doing any math to see how many weeks I would have to start training my way up to 6 miles again.
January was about healing from shin splints.
February is about getting over the fear of hurting myself again.
I am the tortoise.
Fear is the hare.
And right now he's out in front.
I've been running two miles twice a week on weekdays and then slowly working up my mileage. But the miles have been a bit slow, and I've been… tentative.
Zooey basically rolled her eyes at me Saturday morning when I told her that we needed to go slowly and pace ourselves.
Have you ever had a coonhound roll her eyes at you because you're slow? #embarrassing
Asslowly conservatively as I've been pacing my runs, I know that I'm still allowing my timidity to direct my running rather than my experience. The hill that I know I'll encounter during Ryan House terrifies me a bit, even though I've tackled it - successfully - twice before.
I've taken to wearing Sheldon up there fairly regularly as a reminder that regardless of my speed, I'm moving forward. Forward movement means that, eventually, fear will be overtaken.
But in order for me to remain out front, I have to be conscious of the fact that it's there, and I must avoid becoming complacent about where I am regarding my health. I don't want to usher in another new year with champagne and shin splints.
I am the tortoise.
By "rest," I mean that I started, once again, my Hundred Push-Ups app, increased how many times each week I did yoga, and finally got the bike tuned up (more on that in a future post).
To say I was frustrated is an understatement. While I do enjoy a good downward dog, I feel like I NEED running. It's some of the only time I have to myself each week, when I am free to listen to the music I want to listen to, to think without being interrupted by a small voice calling "Mom" fifty times, and not worry about anyone else but myself (and Zooey, but she's pretty low maintenance). Giving up that precious time to heal was….difficult.
So, when my friend Christie asked me if I'd run the Run for Ryan House 10K with her again this year, I jumped at it.
Without obviously doing any math to see how many weeks I would have to start training my way up to 6 miles again.
January was about healing from shin splints.
February is about getting over the fear of hurting myself again.
I am the tortoise.
Fear is the hare.
And right now he's out in front.
I've been running two miles twice a week on weekdays and then slowly working up my mileage. But the miles have been a bit slow, and I've been… tentative.
Zooey basically rolled her eyes at me Saturday morning when I told her that we needed to go slowly and pace ourselves.
Have you ever had a coonhound roll her eyes at you because you're slow? #embarrassing
As
I've taken to wearing Sheldon up there fairly regularly as a reminder that regardless of my speed, I'm moving forward. Forward movement means that, eventually, fear will be overtaken.
But in order for me to remain out front, I have to be conscious of the fact that it's there, and I must avoid becoming complacent about where I am regarding my health. I don't want to usher in another new year with champagne and shin splints.
I am the tortoise.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Reverb 14 · February Prompt · Heart
#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or simply join and read.
February Prompt: Show us your heart. Let it all hang out. When have you thrown yourself into a challenge, or shown/received love?
"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."
(His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama)
Since the day she was born, my daughter, HRH, has had my heart. Yes, I love my husband more than crude English can convey. But my child….every mother knows the magical love that this bond holds. I love her unconditionally, even though there are some days that I don't particularly like her.
Those days, lately, have been more common. As the princess grows physically, mentally, and emotionally, she's also testing her boundaries more and more. Who knew that small humans would have such personalities? (HINT - not me - I really had no idea that someone that small could have such large opinions) Combine that with the emotional roller coaster that comes with being five…wow. There are some days when I feel that I've barely eked into Newton's category of "fittest." Survival is a Real Thing, even in the suburbs.
So when it was hard to like her even though I love her with all my being, we had to do something.
Enter the Kindness Chart.
Each week, kind and unkind acts are being tallied. If more kind acts are tallied than unkind ones, HRH is allowed to participate in swim and ballet. If there are more unkind acts than kind ones, or if there are more than five unkind acts in a week, swim and ballet are cancelled for the week.
In case you're curious, ballet is A Really Big Deal in our house, so missing it on account of unkindness? Unspeakable horrors.
While in some sense, this is, in fact, bribery (and I'm OK with that), it's also a way for a five-year-old to start understanding that kind and loving acts actually benefit her, even if it doesn't seem that way at first. After all, it's difficult for many grown people to comprehend that a kind word to a stranger has positive effects to more than just that stranger, so applying it to situations that HRH can understand can help her comprehend the larger picture as she grows older.
And then….an unexpected benefit.
"Mom?"
"Yes, peanut?"
"I love you so much."
"I love you so much, too."
"Mom, I just really love you."
"I love you, too!"
"Mom?"
"Yeah, sweetie."
"You're the best."
"Aww, thanks! You're the best, too."
"No, YOU'RE the best."
"Mom, Dad makes THE BEST pancakes. They're the best in the world."
"He certainly does. We should thank him for making sure you have pancakes for breakfast all week."
"Can you call him so I can say thank you to him?"
They keep coming. Suddenly, being aware of her kind actions has made her want to be as kind as possible. While surely some of this arises from the desire to have more kind acts tallied than unkind ones in order to ensure swim and ballet each week (while optimistic, I'm not completely blind to this), I see a marked change in HRH. While she still fights us about going to bed some nights, and she doesn't always do what we ask her to do the first time (or the second time…and when she finally does what we ask, it's not always cheerfully), she is more cognizant of the consequences of her actions. She is creating cause and effect relationships that show she's thinking before she takes an action, at least most of the time. When she receives a gift, she more often than not thanks the person right away or tells me she needs to write a thank you card. She offers us fruit leathers when she gets one for herself (even though she always gives us the apricot ones, because those are her least favorite). And the other day, she became extremely worried that Megan needed a proof of life:
"How's Ms. Megan doing?"
"She's fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Uh…pretty sure." (nothing like a 5YO causing you to doubt your answers)
"Is she all right?"
"I think so. She was yesterday."
"Can we FaceTime her just to make sure?"
Yes, Ms. Megan was fine. We didn't FaceTime her, although I remembered later that HRH had tried to FaceTime her the day before when we were trying to call my mom, so maybe she was concerned because Ms. Megan didn't answer (I stopped the call, as it was later in the evening). Who knows. I texted her with a request to let us know that she was, indeed, "all right," and we were all good. HRH was extremely relieved.
Being kind isn't always easy. But when I know that my child is thinking of others, it's worth those days when I just want to survive until bedtime.
"Where there is love, there is life."
(Mahatma Gandhi)
February Prompt: Show us your heart. Let it all hang out. When have you thrown yourself into a challenge, or shown/received love?
"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."
(His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama)
Since the day she was born, my daughter, HRH, has had my heart. Yes, I love my husband more than crude English can convey. But my child….every mother knows the magical love that this bond holds. I love her unconditionally, even though there are some days that I don't particularly like her.
Those days, lately, have been more common. As the princess grows physically, mentally, and emotionally, she's also testing her boundaries more and more. Who knew that small humans would have such personalities? (HINT - not me - I really had no idea that someone that small could have such large opinions) Combine that with the emotional roller coaster that comes with being five…wow. There are some days when I feel that I've barely eked into Newton's category of "fittest." Survival is a Real Thing, even in the suburbs.
So when it was hard to like her even though I love her with all my being, we had to do something.
Enter the Kindness Chart.
Each week, kind and unkind acts are being tallied. If more kind acts are tallied than unkind ones, HRH is allowed to participate in swim and ballet. If there are more unkind acts than kind ones, or if there are more than five unkind acts in a week, swim and ballet are cancelled for the week.
In case you're curious, ballet is A Really Big Deal in our house, so missing it on account of unkindness? Unspeakable horrors.
While in some sense, this is, in fact, bribery (and I'm OK with that), it's also a way for a five-year-old to start understanding that kind and loving acts actually benefit her, even if it doesn't seem that way at first. After all, it's difficult for many grown people to comprehend that a kind word to a stranger has positive effects to more than just that stranger, so applying it to situations that HRH can understand can help her comprehend the larger picture as she grows older.
And then….an unexpected benefit.
"Mom?"
"Yes, peanut?"
"I love you so much."
"I love you so much, too."
"Mom, I just really love you."
"I love you, too!"
"Mom?"
"Yeah, sweetie."
"You're the best."
"Aww, thanks! You're the best, too."
"No, YOU'RE the best."
"Mom, Dad makes THE BEST pancakes. They're the best in the world."
"He certainly does. We should thank him for making sure you have pancakes for breakfast all week."
"Can you call him so I can say thank you to him?"
They keep coming. Suddenly, being aware of her kind actions has made her want to be as kind as possible. While surely some of this arises from the desire to have more kind acts tallied than unkind ones in order to ensure swim and ballet each week (while optimistic, I'm not completely blind to this), I see a marked change in HRH. While she still fights us about going to bed some nights, and she doesn't always do what we ask her to do the first time (or the second time…and when she finally does what we ask, it's not always cheerfully), she is more cognizant of the consequences of her actions. She is creating cause and effect relationships that show she's thinking before she takes an action, at least most of the time. When she receives a gift, she more often than not thanks the person right away or tells me she needs to write a thank you card. She offers us fruit leathers when she gets one for herself (even though she always gives us the apricot ones, because those are her least favorite). And the other day, she became extremely worried that Megan needed a proof of life:
"How's Ms. Megan doing?"
"She's fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Uh…pretty sure." (nothing like a 5YO causing you to doubt your answers)
"Is she all right?"
"I think so. She was yesterday."
"Can we FaceTime her just to make sure?"
Yes, Ms. Megan was fine. We didn't FaceTime her, although I remembered later that HRH had tried to FaceTime her the day before when we were trying to call my mom, so maybe she was concerned because Ms. Megan didn't answer (I stopped the call, as it was later in the evening). Who knows. I texted her with a request to let us know that she was, indeed, "all right," and we were all good. HRH was extremely relieved.
Being kind isn't always easy. But when I know that my child is thinking of others, it's worth those days when I just want to survive until bedtime.
"Where there is love, there is life."
(Mahatma Gandhi)
Monday, January 20, 2014
Assignment One
I wasn't thrilled with my classes this semester; both of them are electives for me, as by the time the university decided my transcripts were real, all the English classes were full, and I had to sign up for electives, both of which are in the education school.
One of my classes focuses on reading instruction, and the other on assessment, and I'm hoping that even though they weren't my first choices, they can help me become a better English teacher.
So far, a week in, things appear to be going well. I submitted my first assignment in my assessment course; I wrote seven pages for what turned out to be a five-point assignment. Thank goodness I earned all five of them. My professor also commented that I gave a great analysis, which was a nice boost for me - I was nervous about going back to school after (number redacted) years, even if it is online, and I can "go" to class in yoga pants if I feel like it.
Keep your fingers crossed that the rest of the semester continues to go positively - the essays haven't started yet!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Reverb 14 · January Prompt · Routine
#reverb14 is an opportunity for participants to reflect throughout 2014. Each month, the Reverb team will post a new prompt. Join and write, or you can join and read.
January Prompt: Have you started a new routine this January? Is this routine different from last year? Is it the result of a resolution or goal you're working on? Tell us about your days. How do they flow? If you'd like, maybe give us a full "day in the life" or just some snippets.
Routine is not something that comes easily. As much as I'd like to be a little more regimented in my life, I fully admit that I let the small variables make a big difference in What Happens each day. HRH was not a baby fed or put to bed on a regular schedule; we figured that when she was hungry, she'd eat (and oh, she did, until I stopped nursing her). And depending on whether or not I run, I get up at different times in the morning.
Of course, now that I'm nursing shin splints (AGAIN), my routine is all thrown off, thanks to my Not Running At All.
However, I am working to settle in to a new - and workable routine in order to make sure that I have enough time to include my two masters classes into the week.
Just typing that sentence kind of makes me anxious, even though I've already gotten almost a week ahead of schedule in one class and am right on schedule in my other one. But I'm not really taking anything OFF my plate. HRH still preschool twice a week as well as swim and now ballet (a Christmas present). I still have a job, and Husband has both his job and his new role as an instructor at the community college.
Staying busy is not a problem for us.
So far, if I get up when my alarm tells me to (which has been 50-50 of late), I'm able to get in a "regular" work day and get in dinner and HRH's bedtime (facilitated by Husband whenever he's home) before I sit down to study. I'm planning to dedicate weekends and the hour I sit at ballet to the time that I get my required reading in.
In a nutshell, my weekdays go by thus:
January Prompt: Have you started a new routine this January? Is this routine different from last year? Is it the result of a resolution or goal you're working on? Tell us about your days. How do they flow? If you'd like, maybe give us a full "day in the life" or just some snippets.
Routine is not something that comes easily. As much as I'd like to be a little more regimented in my life, I fully admit that I let the small variables make a big difference in What Happens each day. HRH was not a baby fed or put to bed on a regular schedule; we figured that when she was hungry, she'd eat (and oh, she did, until I stopped nursing her). And depending on whether or not I run, I get up at different times in the morning.
Of course, now that I'm nursing shin splints (AGAIN), my routine is all thrown off, thanks to my Not Running At All.
However, I am working to settle in to a new - and workable routine in order to make sure that I have enough time to include my two masters classes into the week.
Just typing that sentence kind of makes me anxious, even though I've already gotten almost a week ahead of schedule in one class and am right on schedule in my other one. But I'm not really taking anything OFF my plate. HRH still preschool twice a week as well as swim and now ballet (a Christmas present). I still have a job, and Husband has both his job and his new role as an instructor at the community college.
Staying busy is not a problem for us.
So far, if I get up when my alarm tells me to (which has been 50-50 of late), I'm able to get in a "regular" work day and get in dinner and HRH's bedtime (facilitated by Husband whenever he's home) before I sit down to study. I'm planning to dedicate weekends and the hour I sit at ballet to the time that I get my required reading in.
In a nutshell, my weekdays go by thus:
- 5:30: alarm
- 5:30-7: run/walk/yoga/coffee
- 7-8: HRH up, breakfasted, dressed, ready
- 8-5: work
- 5-8: HRH various activities, dinner, "hang out" time
- 8: HRH bedtime
- 8-10: study, yoga (as necessary), bedtime
I try to bank at least 20 minutes of relaxation time between when I am finished with work/school/HRH's bedtime and my own bedtime. If I don't, my mind races, and I have trouble sleeping. If I can, it's yoga or meditation, but some nights, I want ghost hunting shows (my favorite variety of fluff TV).
Weekends? Currently a free for all. Prayers for my shins to heal so that order may be restored are always welcome.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
The Kindness of Strangers
When I was young, kindergarten or first grade, a few local fire fighters came to visit my school and teach us a little about fire safety. Instead of leaving the assembly feeling well informed, I was terrified and became obsessed with whether or not the smoke alarm's batteries were working and devising an emergency exit from my bedroom in the case that our house caught fire.
Fire continues to dwell in the recesses of my fears; living in Arizona means that the threat is omnipresent, and I often think that a house made of cinder blocks is a good idea.
So my heart aches this weekend when a fellow coonhound owner, someone whom I don't personally know but have met through a Facebook group lost everything in a fire, including two of his three rescued hounds.
Andrew lived in an RV, as he had until recently been a government contractor, so in order to have his dogs with him as he travelled for work, he sold his home and bought the RV. His hounds, Claire, Herbie, and Sadie, went everywhere with him. A few weeks ago, he lost his contract and is currently without a job. He'd been giving his dogs his food as money started to run out.
Many people in this situation would surrender their dogs, but Andrew had rescued all three hounds, and was willing to sacrifice other things in order to keep his fur-family together.
When his RV was parked this weekend, it caught fire, and Sadie and Herbie were lost, along with all of Andrew's belongings. Andrew has burns on his hands, and Claire, his surviving hound, also has some burns and is on antibiotics to ensure that she doesn't have lasting smoke inhalation damage. Both of them are heartbroken, and so is our coonhound community. Sadie was rescued from a situation in New Mexico and transported to Andrew in Illinois through the Colorado Coonhound Rescue and Pilots N Paws. As his children are grown, these three hounds were Andrew's life, and to have lost two of them this way, I just…well, there are no words.
Perhaps because this group of coonhound owners is populated, for the most, by those who have rescued hounds (Zooey is one of the few in the group who has had the same loving home all her life), those dogs who have been "thrown away" by others, we knew we had to do something. Doing something in times of crisis is what we do, and so instead of rising up to save a hound from an abusive situation, we took action to help our fellow hound lover.
A YouCaring page has been set up to help Andrew and Claire with veterinary and other expenses, and in less than 48 hours, we have already raised over $1800. The page is open until Valentine's Day, so if you have a few dollars hanging around that need a good home, please don't hesitate to click on the link and donate; I know that Andrew and Claire will be more than grateful for your donation.
In the long run, less than two grand isn't going to be enough. Andrew needs a new home. He needs a job. He needs to be able to buy food for himself and Claire. He needs to have a change of clothes (how many times have we all taken all our socks for granted?). He needs to feel whole again after this devastating loss. But we've started a process to help him heal, and we have not only stepped up financially but also to help shoulder the immense grief he is feeling right now.
I know many people who don't like to watch the news today because it seems like it's only bad news - the murder of a college runner, the continued situation in Syria, and more. But whenever I hear this, I am reminded of The Art of Happiness, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama; in it, he discussed that the daily news cycle is full of "bad news" because it is still in the minority of events that happen each day. Certainly it's too bad that more attention is paid to these happenings than the good that can happen, so it's up to each of us to carve out that good news we seek, even if it's in the face of terrible situations.
I can't put the sadness I feel for Andrew and Claire into words, but I also can't find words for the immense pride I have in these people I have come to know, all of whom have come together just because of our similar love for hounds. It's a positive daily reminder that the kindness of strangers is something on which everyone should rely, as without that kindness, there won't be any other.
If you are short of money right now - you may be jobless yourself, or perhaps some unexpected expenses have arisen, and that's OK - your positive prayers, thoughts, and messages will also make a difference for Andrew and Claire; the more positive energy we can put out there, the better our world will be.
Herbie and Sadie, you will be so missed by Andrew and Claire and those who helped you live with the love that Andrew had to give you. We will see you again; wait for us at the Bridge.
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| Herbie |
 |
| Sadie on her "freedom ride" out of abuse |
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| Herbie and Claire |
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
The End of More; the Beginning of Study
The word for 2014 is study.
Last year, my Word of the Year was More.
Specifically:
I am happy that, for the most, I did more. I ran more miles in 2013 (558.91) than 2012 (427.7). I put a lot of emphasis on spending family time together, making sure that some fun activities like the Polar Express involved all three of us, even if that took a little more effort/planning to make sure Husband wasn't working or traveling for work. I don't feel like we made a huge impact on the charities I had planned to focus, but with apps like Charity Miles and some other donations that came up mid-year, I feel like I have made a more positive impact on the world than in past years.
As I turn the calendar to 2014, I am also turning a page in my own life. This semester, I am officially a Northern Arizona University Lumberjack, working towards my masters in English.
I have hemmed and hawed over my masters for far too long; Husband graduated in 2007, and since then, it's been "my turn" to go back. Some days I would think that I needed to get my masters in Something Practical (read: not English). Some days I would think that I needed to study What I Love (read: English). Finally, the days when I thought the latter far outweighed the former, and the decision was made. I'll be taking all my classes online, which does restrict my class options a little, but I will be able to take some electives within the education college, which will in turn help me add some practicality to my new degree, which I should earn in December 2015.
As such, while I will continue to run more miles, spend as much time with my husband and daughter as possible, and give back when and where I can, my main focus for 2014 is on myself and my books. Hopefully the work-life-school balance will be manageable in the first half of the year; I'm counting on HRH's entrance into kindergarten next fall to allow me a greater ability to focus on work during the work day so my school hours can be more tightly focused as well.
I've always loved learning, and I was a good "traditional" student (I still take notes when I'm reading books for fun), but after not having been in a class since 2002, I'm also a little nervous. I'm not new to online learning (after all, I teach online now), but it will be a new perspective being a student. That being said, I'm excited at this new chapter in my life, and I can't wait to see what doors it may open to me!
What is your word/motto for 2014?
Last year, my Word of the Year was More.
Specifically:
- More miles
- More family time
- More charitable donations
I am happy that, for the most, I did more. I ran more miles in 2013 (558.91) than 2012 (427.7). I put a lot of emphasis on spending family time together, making sure that some fun activities like the Polar Express involved all three of us, even if that took a little more effort/planning to make sure Husband wasn't working or traveling for work. I don't feel like we made a huge impact on the charities I had planned to focus, but with apps like Charity Miles and some other donations that came up mid-year, I feel like I have made a more positive impact on the world than in past years.
As I turn the calendar to 2014, I am also turning a page in my own life. This semester, I am officially a Northern Arizona University Lumberjack, working towards my masters in English.
I have hemmed and hawed over my masters for far too long; Husband graduated in 2007, and since then, it's been "my turn" to go back. Some days I would think that I needed to get my masters in Something Practical (read: not English). Some days I would think that I needed to study What I Love (read: English). Finally, the days when I thought the latter far outweighed the former, and the decision was made. I'll be taking all my classes online, which does restrict my class options a little, but I will be able to take some electives within the education college, which will in turn help me add some practicality to my new degree, which I should earn in December 2015.
As such, while I will continue to run more miles, spend as much time with my husband and daughter as possible, and give back when and where I can, my main focus for 2014 is on myself and my books. Hopefully the work-life-school balance will be manageable in the first half of the year; I'm counting on HRH's entrance into kindergarten next fall to allow me a greater ability to focus on work during the work day so my school hours can be more tightly focused as well.
I've always loved learning, and I was a good "traditional" student (I still take notes when I'm reading books for fun), but after not having been in a class since 2002, I'm also a little nervous. I'm not new to online learning (after all, I teach online now), but it will be a new perspective being a student. That being said, I'm excited at this new chapter in my life, and I can't wait to see what doors it may open to me!
What is your word/motto for 2014?
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